i need a uk ana texting buddy! i’m 5’5, 169 lb but working on it. my number is...

Weigh-in #26
Week 26
Start (old scales) - 175lbs
Start (new scales) - 169.5lbs
Last - 164.6lbs
Current - 163.2lbs
Loss - 1.4 lbs
New Scale Total Loss - 6.3lbs
Total Loss So Far - 14.3lbs
Pounds Until Halfway Point - 4.45lbs

weigh in monday. (week 24)

No, I didn’t go shopping but I decided that I will save my money for a big shopping spree when I am able to squeeze my but in to my size 7 jeans!  I feel good when I’m working towards a goal.

I got to drive a car to day! It was fun! I wish I took the time to learn how to drive at 16. I’m a 20 year old newbie driver. My mom says she can see a change in me. She not only sees my body changing she sees the way I carry myself changing. Knowing that makes me even more determined to lose the weight I packed on. I can’t wait until I can feel 100% confident in myself.

“You’ve got to let go of the stuff from past – because it just doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.”— Kung Fu Panda 

I’m addicted to this song. I need to add this to my work out play list.

If you are a weight loss /fitspo tumblr keep up the good work! If I can do it then you can do it too!

Two spoonful of honey before bed will help burn off fat while you sleep.  The hibernation diet promises to help people lose weight while they sleep.

This diet was developed by an Edinburgh pharmacist and sports nutritionist, is said to be endorsed by Olympic gold-winning cyclist Chris Hoy and used by champion boxer Alex Arthur.

The diet advises eating a couple of teaspoons of honey before bedtime and training with weights instead of long aerobic workouts.

Mike McInnes and his son Stuart were working with athletes and thier nutrition, when they discovered that eating fructose-rich food such as honey, helped burn fat and increase stamina.

The best time to burn fat they found is while you are sleeping.  When you eat fructose, it is converted to glucose in the liver. This stabilizes blood sugar levels and allows the body to activate recovery hormones which rebuild muscle and skin cells. You then burn more fat sleeping.  Eating two teaspoons of fructose rich honey before bedtime will do more fat burning than even exercise. 

Hormones are fuelled by fat, so when you eat honey before going to bed the body burns more fat. Instead of working to regulate blood sugar use honey before bed.

Mik McInnes said “The key time for fat burning is in the first four hours of sleep when we go into slow-wave sleep.  This switches on the pituitary gland and out of that comes a series of hormones that break down and use fat as fuel.”

“Take your liver to bed empty, and your body can’t get to work with those hormones because it’s desperately trying to sort out your blood glucose levels.”

“So stabilizing your blood glucose at night by fuelling up your liver - honey is the key - allows that recovery to take place as it should.

“We also discovered that athletes who were using our liver fuelling strategy were reporting that their appetite was controlled much better.”

You can also increase the amount of fat you burn by doing 15-minute weights sessions three times a week, according to the diet. Resistance exercise stresses a muscle and then the body repairs it while you are sleeping by mobilizing fat and you reap the benefits, Mike McInnes claims.

McInnes said: “We know it’s revolutionary because we see the results we have had for athletes. It is a whole new approach as the liver is the organ that all the sports literature misses out. The sports establishment don’t like us because we are coming at it from an angle they haven’t thought of.”

Source: http://www.nmhoney.com/nmhoney/Sub%20Files/A%20Spoonful%20of%20honey%20before%20bed.htm

so I didn’t get fired from work, but I did get a write-up and some sense talked into me. an icky feeling resides in my stomach; it could be my guilty conscience, or hunger pangs, I can’t decide which!

today was okay. I ate (roughly): one cup special K with 1/2 cup fat free milk, a yoplait light strawberry yogurt, subway’s black forest ham sandwich with no cheese and tons of vegetables, a bag of pretzels, a hamburger with extra lettuce, extra tomato, ketchup and mustard, the rest of my bag of pretzels, string cheese… yep. I had a bite or two of my coworkers fries, so I added up 100 calories for that, and I’m about 200 calories under my daily intake.

so why do I feel so shitty?

I keep forgetting I’m only five days into this caloric intake readjustment. I’m only six or seven days into my gym membership. I’m only six days into this blog. the race is long. I just wish I could get some instant gratification, you know?! my mind is pleading for results because I’m used to seeing them so soon in my life. like, work 30 hours, get a paycheck in a week. wonder what your plans are for tomorrow, text a friend, find out. crave frozen yogurt, buy frozen yogurt.

the commitment I’m making is a commitment that’s going to last a lifetime. I want to be healthy. right now, I’m feeling down on myself when there isn’t any big setback to feel down about! well, not with my diet at least.

I think I’m eating too many carbs. wait… yeah… I’m definitely eating too many carbs. those have ALWAYS been my weakness! mmm bread bread bread pretzels bread. any suggestions for filling foods that aren’t so… bready?

Nutrition

Breakfast
1 Slice Whole Wheat Toast with 1 tbsp. Peanut Butter
Honey Nut Cheerios with 1/2 Cup Skim Milk
Athenos Greek Strained Nonfat Blueberry Yogurt
1/4 Cup Bear Naked Fit Triple Berry Crunch Granola
1/2 Grapefruit
Calories: 585

Post-Workout Snack
8 oz. Low-Calorie Grape Gatorade
1 Rounded Scoop Optimum Nutrition 100% Whey Gold Standard Double Rich Chocolate blended with 8 oz. Skim Milk
Calories: 226

Lunch
Subway Turkey & American Cheese on 6” Honey Oat with Lettuce, Tomato, Black Olive, Mayonnaise, Mustard
Fit and Active All Natural Strawberry Fruit Strip
Calories: 420

Dinner
Tyson Chicken Breast Patty
1 Small Banana
Mixed Steamed Vegetables, 1 Cup
Calories: 310

Nighttime Snack
Up & Up Women’s Daily Multivitamin Dietary Supplement
10 Medium Strawberries
1/4 Kit Kat Bar
Dreyer’s Fruit Bar, No Sugar Added
1 Chips Ahoy! Soft and Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookie
Calories: 176

Water Consumption
14 Cups

TOTAL CALORIES: 1717 (goal 1756)
TOTAL CARBS: 251 (goal 219 g)
TOTAL FAT: 47 (goal 49 g)
TOTAL PROTEIN: 99 (goal 109 g)
TOTAL SODIUM: 2535 (goal 2500 mg)

Fitness

5K practice run, 33:21
Calories Burned: 406

Sleep

8 Hours

2 weeks ago I was 126.6

Today, I was 126.0

I don’t understand why this is. I literally can’t fault my eating on any day over the past 2 weeks - the single “bad” thing I’ve eaten has been an ice cream last weekend which I factored into my calories anyway. Just checked back through my MFP diary and I’ve not been over 1350 calories on a single day. I’ve worked out 6 days a week burning between 300 - 800 calories at a time. The maths simply doesn’t add up. 

YES, a loss is a loss, and I know that because I’m so close to goal I can’t expect to lose more than 1lb a week, but half a lb over 2 weeks? That’s terrible, and a poor effort on my part.

The thing is, I’m actually starting to feel slim and happy with my body. I can feel my shape changing and muscles starting to appear. I woke up feeling great, and this STUPID set of scales has pissed me off. I’m annoyed. Rant over.

Edit - Just realised this means I’ve failed one of my June goals which was to be 124 or 125 by the end of the month. So I’ve lost a grand total of 2lbs this month. Feel free to point and laugh. Biggest Loser’s got nothing on me!

This was me at my thinnest back at the end of 2009. I want to get back to this - and then some (a lot) more.

SW: 79 kg (174.2 lb) 2011.1.10
UGW: 56 kg (123.5 lb)

Last week: 67,2 (148.1)
This week: 66,9 (147.5)
Lost: -0,3 kg (0.6 lb)

Total: 12,1 kg (26.7 lb)

Seems like another plateau…. I’m gonna beat you!!

so, for tomorrow

““What positive things have you said to yourself today? Acknowledge your greatness.””

- Chalene Johnson

I need to have a game plan for this week!

Oatmeal & bananas for breakfast every day!
Veggies & chicken for lunch every day!
10+ glasses of water every day!
Start & end the day with green tea.

Exercise (next two weeks):
Gym in morning, pool at lunch, walk in evening - Mon
Gym in morning, walk or pool at lunch - Tues
Gym in morning, walk to carnival at night - Weds
Walk -Thurs
Walk - Fri
Hardcore gym session (2-3 hours) - Sat
Longggg walk - Sun
Workout vid - Mon
Walk - Tues
Rest - Weds
Gym in morning, pool at lunch, walk in evening - Thurs
Gym & walk - Fri
Hardcore gym session - Sat
Rest - Sun

I miss being in the 170s. I will get there this week. And I’ll be under 175 by July 10th’s weigh-in. :) 

I think the universal answer to this is yes. Regardless of your size, girls make weight comments at all times. I do not think this is  an issue exclusively reserved to girls who are overweight.

I myself have dealt with the cruel onslaught of negative comments; I’ve been told I’m fat by people who I knew well, and by strangers on the street. One is not worse than the other, really.

I just hope that people realize this problem exists for all girls of all sizes. I’ve known gorgeous and impossibly thin girls who are self conscious of themselves because people make comments assuming they have eating disorders, when they don’t.

People should really stop using weight as the end-all for insults. If you really don’t like a person, making a comment about their lack of intelligence is a lot more damaging than making one about their appearance. I mean, newsflash - fat people know they are fat. So pointing it out doesn’t really do anything for you. 

Our society has a sick obsession with appearances and I for one am done with it. I will, to the best of my ability, try to tune out any negative comments, and try and stay in the positive, always.

I’m here for anyone who needs a reminder that no one has the right to make you feel inferior.

xoxo

I barely ate a thing. About 180 calories. Why do I feel so proud?

“HAVE YOU GAINED WEIGHT?”

- i want to die whenever i hear this question. it seems i’ve heard it so often lately. starve starve starve.Just spent all night reading the nutrition information on this website. AMAZING!

Today, ladies and gentlemen, makes a year on my Natural Hair journey. Time went by quickly. I’m gonna give ya’ll pics and lessons learned, but right now it is a crunchy dry mess from a late night, all day at work schedule.

Also, I weighed in today… I’m down to 192 point something pounds! woot woot! That’s down 9 point something pounds from where I began! #TeamFineinaMinute

Things I realized today:

• Every Sunday with my family reminds me why I came home.
• Sometimes people with start to not like you suddenly, all because they want something you have that you don’t even understand why they want it.
• For all of my moments of self-esteem weakness, my skin is indeed getting tougher. It does hurts to be rejected/denied, but I’m realizing that I’m not a “one-size-fits-all” type of girl. And I’m becoming okay with that.
• I love Kevin Hart
• Zumba is my workout utopia!

I’ll be back tomorrow ya’ll!

i drank two of these today. :)

i train bi’s, tri’s, chest, & abs. it will be my heavy weight day. ill be using weights around 15-20 pounds, as well as 20-35 pounds - it all depends on the move im doing. ill also complete 4 sets (one warm up set, and three hard sets). here is what im going to do:

curls 
push ups
v-ups
kickbacks
cable crossovers
side to sides
barbell curls
bench press
plank
dips
side to sides
cable curls
cable crossovers
tricep pulldowns

also, i will be doing slow & steady cardio. probably jogging or stair stepping for half an hour to 45 minutes.  

ill let you know how it goes.

Might make a tuna sandwich in about an hour and a half. Since I just ate lunch and I don’t...

So I’m finally back on tumblr. The visit with the boytoy was incredibly fun. 

So I was supposed to be interviewed for a job today, but alas, the guy didn’t show up. I know right? Dis bitch put makeup on and everything.

My mum and I are on this new diet. It’s basically replace one or two meals a day with these chocolatey protein shakes. They’re Jillian Michaels brand, and only 100 calories per scoop. I blended one scoop with a bunch of ice and a teeny bit of milk, clocking in at about 120 calories. Seriously, it kept me full from 6 pm last night to 10 am this morning. I felt really sick to my stomach though, so maybe it requires getting used to. All in all, I would recommend it. I do ask my lovelies to make sure they get all their fruits and veggies too if they decide to try it. 

And fitness wise, I may be joining a gym with mum; we’re going to check it out this afternoon. I highly recommend the myfitnesspal game for the Kinect. It kicks my butt, and burns some serious calories. I’ve also been doing yoga and running more often. So far, 4 pounds lost since coming home. Of course, I’ve temporarily gained it all back with the rich food people keep shoving at me. Now that the celebrations are over, I’m looking forward to going back to my normal eating habits!

I also got contacted by my future roommate. I’m pretty excited about living with her.

And finally, who’s going to the Poison concert this Friday? I propose a Tumblr meetup. I’ll be there with my crazy mum. It’s gonna be fun.

TL;DR:

Diet/exercise recommendations, Poison Concert, meaningless babbling.

Have a great afternoon, darlings!

Talk to me.

My awful attempts at J. Crew styling.

P.S. - Don’t mind my legs trying to explode out of these size 2s! Fact: a runner’s legs cannot be contained.

Right and starting from tomorrow I am actually going to put myself on a strict diet because UGHHHHHHHHH. Seriously some of the photos from last night are horrific. 

I need to lose a stone before I go to Beni methinks, can’t stand the idea of hanging out with my mates in only a bikini in this state.

Just realized since I already had a boca burger today, I probably shouldn’t have a tuna sandwich. Too much bread! So maybe I’ll just make tuna and eat it out of the bowl. hmph ok

So if you haven’t noticed, I am expanding to more than just fitness and weight loss and eating. 

I’ve officially ventured into fashion and beauty!

I have two new people helping me out, Hilary and Lisa.

Hilary is going to be helping take care of the fashion and beauty portion with me and Lisa is going to be in charge of the Recipes.

You want to help out too you say?

WELL OF COURSE YOU CAN!

All you have to do is submit something related to fitness, healthy eating, beauty and or fashion.  Of course we will have to go over it and make sure it fits our ideals of living a healthy life style, but we know you are all wonderful.

What do you think of the improvements I’ve made to my blog, are there any other pages you’d like to see?

Day 02 - How tall are you? Do you like your height?

i believe that i am either 5’4 or 5’5. im not sure which one.

personally i dont really care much for it.  i honestly feel short for my age.  this past school year(my senior year) i was even mistaken for a freshman-junior(more than once)..not too happy about that. but whatever. doesnt matter anymore. i still have time to grow. sometimes i even think that its my weight thats holding me back a few inches. who knows, only time will tell.

So I started my weight loss shake diet today. With the legit shakes & not just the chocolate water, so Ive taken in 300 calories today so far, and I feel gross.

Not with myself for eating that many calories, because it isnt at all, and with the way I look at it, Im going to be taking in way less than 1500 calories today.

But I cant just drink these things alone, Its like I suddenly started a crash diet and Im crashing… hard.

& its that time of the month where my appetite goes up and UFHHEWENSO.

I better lose this fucking weight in 4 weeks or else im throwing all this chocolate stuff on them.

a snack, dinner & shake to go. plus work from 5-930. blegh. 

i could go on. i could tell you all what i have eaten so far today (strawberry & peaches protein shake & a veggie burger with turkey bacon & swiss cheese), but i am watching tangled. so i gotta go!!!!

I don’t know if everyone out there loves Alton Brown from the Food Network as much as I do, but if you don’t, you should. He does a wonderful show called Good Eats, in which he teaches the science and history of a particular food while teaching various recipes. Watch it! You’ll feel like you learned so much in half an hour. 

Well, anyhow, Mr. Brown recently did an episode on how he lost 50lbs without any crazy diets. He called it the “four list method” and it’s a brilliant healthy eating hack. Here are the lists:

daily 
fruits
whole grains
leafy greens
nuts
carrots
green tea 

3x/week 
oily fish
yogurt
broccoli
sweet potato
avocado 

1x/week 
red meat
pasta
dessert
alcohol 

0x/week 
fast food
soda
processed meals
canned soups
“diet” anything 

That’s it! By “obeying” the four lists, combined with exercise of course, he lost 50lbs! That’s a huge amount of weight! While I’m not exactly looking to lose weight, but rather to tone up and be healthier, I still love the concept and intend to give it a shot.

Might make a tuna sandwich in about an hour and a half. Since I just ate lunch and I don’t want to be scolded by another anon for only eating 330 calories in a day.

June Measurements

How tall are you? Do you like your height

I’m 5’3 1/2 and yes i love my height. Sometimes I wish i was a little taller because i feel I’m a little short for my age (im 21) haha but i dont think i will be growing anymore. The best thing is that I can wear heels and not look too tall. 

I just want some pizza

a large cheese pizza from dominos oh my god that sounds so good right now FUCK

when I lose 20 pounds I will allow myself to have three slices of cheese pizza from dominos. 

184 here I come

one of my favorites

Breakfast!! Nomnom :)

Strawberry yogurt, berries and almond flakes

Green tea

thinspo update :]

It bothers me when people post pictures of girls and say things like “I can’t wait to look like that!” or “She has the perfect body!” 

Why can’t you wait to look like yourself when you get fit? I don’t see the point in obsessing over someone else’s body just because you don’t look like them. Sure, seeing someone’s success story is amazing. I love reading about another’s journey, because it helps motivate me. I have the “If they can do it, I can do it!” mentality. 

But don’t beat yourself up if you don’t look just like them, and definitely don’t aim to look exactly like them. If you do, you may end up being sorely disappointed, because (here’s a shocker) your body isn’t exactly like someone else’s.

Just aim to do and be your best, and you will love yourself even more when you finally reach your goal. 

i’m 5 foot 6 inches. here’s my story: I’ve lost 0 pounds and been dieting/working out since January (i’ve been slacking off this past month). BUT i’ve gone from an XL to an L in shirts! and alomost 3 sizes in pants! i know it might be muscle gain but like i said, i’ve been slacking this last month and i just really want the scale number to drop. pleeeeease, i would love advice/motivation from ANYONE!

STAYY—BEAUTIFULL.TUMBLR.COM

It’s called a combination swiss ball pike and roll-out.

Sounds like a medieval torture device. But it’s actually easy to learn and extremely efficient. In fact, you can probably get a killer ab workout by doing this move fewer than 10 times.

“If someone was looking at one exercise and wanted to make sure he was getting the most abdominal work done in a way that makes him look better and function better,” says trainer Nick Tumminello, “this is the exercise to do.”

To start the pike/roll-out, simply hold yourself in a pushup position with your feet on a swiss ball. (To make the exercise easier, move the swiss ball towards your belly button) With your body in a plank (straight) position, keep your legs straight and push your hips towards the ceiling while keeping your back flat. After straightening your hips and coming back to the start position, push your body backwards on the ball until your arms are fully extended in front of you and your legs are fully extended behind you.

If you can’t see this video, you can watch it HERE

(source)

Finally got a tape measurer…here my June measurements. I will compare on July 2!

Height: 5’11

Weight: 229 lbs.

Bust: 44.5

Waist: 37.5

Hips: 49 (YIKES!)

Left Thigh: 24.5

Right Thigh: 24

Left Calf: 16.5

Right Calf: 16

Left Arm: 13. 5

Right Arm: 13.5

That was kind of scary, especially the hip measurements. My goodness. Still, I would rather know and face the problem head on than ignore the problems like I have been for almost 2 years!

I was amused but scared they were onto me :S

INTAKE: Not too good :/

EXERCISE: none/ just walking around the mall for a few minutes.

Today’s exercise! Got up at 7 AM and was at the gym by 8 AM. I did 45 minutes of working out!

• Bike: 20 minutes. 4 miles. 90.2 calories :)
• Leg Press: 3 sets of 120 lbs. 12 reps each. Legs felt tired today. Couldn’t manage the 140 lbs I was doing earlier this week. I love the leg press but I need to give it a break tomorrow.
• Rows: 3 sets of 37.5 lbs, 50 lbs, and 44 lbs. Each with 12 reps. I challenged myself on this machine to try a higher weight class and it worked well! Tomorrow I will try for 2 sets at 50 lbs.
• Overhead Press: 3 sets. 2 sets at 37.5 lbs, 1 set at 25 lbs. 12 reps twice, 8 once. 
• Crunches: 50 crunches. 40 more oblique crunches, 20 on each side. Felt sore today. My core is probably even weaker than my upper body strength. Probably worn out from yesterday’s crunches.
• Squats: 1 set of 10 so far. Planning on doing more throughout the day. I think squats are a good way to stretch out my tight hamstrings.
• Stretch: Did another round of post biking stretching. I’ve heard that you shouldn’t stretch “cold” muscles. 

Did quite a bit for a 45 minute workout. I’m working my psychological endurance up to start thinking about 30 minute biking warm-ups :) Almost had the willpower to do it today, tomorrow’s outlook is good.

I don’t know if I’m burning a significant amount of calories or not but I’m feeling better at least psychologically about working out everyday. It’s healthy to do 30 minutes a day they say and I’m sticking close to that right now. I want to work up to a longer workout over time but for someone who usually only works out during the summers anyway (and by that I mean 20 minute jogs, twice a week out of boredom) I’ve really come a long way in just a week :)

Maybe I’ll be able to keep it up throughout the school year too!

That’s How I’ve Been Feeling Lately…. I Was Working 3 Jobs For The Past 3 Weeks Up Until Last Week & Currently Working 2 Jobs Until June 15th When CPS Kids Are Out Of School! I’m Starting To Develop A Blah Life As It’s All Work & No PLAY!…Lol I Just Need To Get Back On A Daily Work Schedule Because I’ve Not Been Eating Right & I’ve Gain A Few Pound Due To Me Not Working Out As I Was About Three Weeks Ago… Haven’t Been To My Weight Watchers Meeting In Two Weeks:(….UGH! I Was Doing Really Good Had Lost A Totally Of 13 Lbs But, Stepped On The Scale & I’m Up A Few Pounds….:( So, I Know What I Need To Do But, All In All I Know I Bite Off More Than I Could Chew When I Agreed To Start My Summer Gig Before The Kids Got Outta School! Working All Three Jobs Had Become Tooo Much That I Had To Quit MCA-Chicago…. 

Within The Next Week I Am Getting Back On My Workout Routine & Will Start Logging My Meals On WW Cause I Refuse To Ruin All The Hard Work I’ve Done In The Pass Three Months! 

ECA Online Courses Are Starting At The End Of The Month & I’m More Nervous Than Excited….Lol

Anyways, I Have To Work Today At MP From 11-6pm… Hope The Day Goes By Fast!

Later, Gators!

I woke up and run/walked 2 miles- I walked more than I would have liked since even though it was cool, it was really humid.  Bleh, but I still did it! :D

Now I’m about to do Ab Ripper X and maybe start day 15(!) of p90x!  It doesn’t seem like it’s been 2 weeks already.  I’ll probably hold off on that because I’m pretty dang hungry, though.

THEN JOB INTERVIEW

(then arms and back workout, probably)

Then mediterranean food-

Then I’m gonna go to the roller derby.

YUS.

I really thought I was going to gain from yesterday.

I’m losing weight noticeably. My size 16 jeans fit on the hips again without straining. I’ve been at this diet for 6 days and it seems like the water weight coming off is really helping me get back in to my clothes. I’m well aware that the weight in fat is going to come off steadier and I hope that I don’t get discouraged with only 1-2lb coming off a week.

I’ve had to up my calorie intake. While running around with two children, housework, cooking, walking and staying up in the nights comforting a six month old baby, 950 calories is making me feel faint and constantly hungry. I don’t think it would be so bad if I wasn’t burning at least 400 calories a day in strength and cardiovascular exercise which brings my net calories way under 950.

I’ve upped my intake to 1100 which allows me a slightly larger portion at dinner. I’m still eating very well and I not consuming any junk apart from Monster energy drinks. I’m still exercising to tone and to feel healthy. I’m still very positive about the next week and the week after that.

I would kill for a big slice of Red Velvet cake or Tiramasu right now. Last night I drank a double Tia Maria and Coke and wanted to eat the entire glass because it tasted so much like my beloved Tiramasu. I think if I allow myself to treat I’ll be treating myself with a small portion of Tiramasu.

I’ve also promised Sean that once I’ve lost 20lb we’ll go to Peachy Keens because he loves that place as much as I do. I have also promised I will really treat myself and I’ll eat a three course meal. One day off.

Ripped in 30 Daily Meal Plans:

Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 Meal Plan

It’s been 16 days, 16 days! This slightly blows my mind because when I used to go on “health bouts” I’d usually last a week before I fell victim to a binge or started having extreme doubt. It feels so unimaginably good not to be the victim anymore. 

Today’s weigh in: 134.5 

It feels so weird being here, because I never thought’d I get here, in a million years, I was the girl that’d given up all hope? And yet here I am! As far as numbers go I always aimed at 130 mostly because at the height of my ED I weighed 127 and looked frail and sick (I now know that’s because of my unhealthy habits not the number) but regardless I am a little weary with numbers. I definitely don’t see myself going anywhere below 125, I don’t think it’d suit my body, I think the lowest” perhaps 126. But let’s just play it by week and see what happens because I’m this far and already feel great. Numbers aren’t a big deal anymore.  

*Celebrating with oatmeal and peanut butter, it has been too long. This is the reason I woke up so early…*

So, yesterday, I went to a nice store to get myself a congratulatory dress in a US size 6 finally, (that same dress wouldn’t zip up in a 10 a month and a half ago!) and had the following odd conversation with the lady on the cash.

Her (very obese nosy older lady - I’m not saying this just to be mean, she could barely walk): So, what’s the occasion for you getting this dress? A wedding, a party? 

Me: Mmm… no.. just for me.

Her: Well, any special reason??

Me (exasperated): It’s just a reward for a personal accomplishment. I lost some weight.

Her: How much? How long did it take? How many sizes did you go down???

Me: I went from a 10 to a 6 in a month and a half.

Her: OH MY! You’re not STARVING yourself, are you??? Because my daughter starved herself but she didn’t lost ANY weight, so don’t starved yourself!!

Me (starting to feel really awkward, feeling paranoid she KNOWS): Um, no. Just eating less and more vegan meals, exercising more… 

Her (tears up): Well, sweetie, you’re SUCH an inspiration to so many people! Such a success story, and did it the healthy way, too! Here’s a coupon for 25% off ANYTHING next time you’re here! (It’s kind of an expensive-ish store)

Me (feeling increasingly awkward): Thank you…

I took the coupon and in all honesty will use it, but I felt so terrible that the lady thought I was an “inspiration’. Ugh, I’m so disgusted with myself, I should not inspire anyone to lose weight the way I am. I’m doing it, because it gives me a semblance of sanity, and the “healthy way” does NOT work for me. The devious me is pleased that I somehow “tricked” the poor lady, but the rest of me is just feeling…. ugh. 

I took a photo in a mirror this morning, to considering posting a “in process” progress, but once I saw it, I burst into tears. I can’t let anyone see me like this  yet. The scale shows a loss of 20 pounds, but somehow I CAN’T SEE IT even in a photo. Maybe when I lose 25 pounds in total. I’ll try again, I promise.

after today I only have two days left on the HSGD.

This is the only sweet things I’ve had all day. Leave me be. Me and my brownie want to make sweet love.  -__-

collarbones for mondays thinspiration 

really fucking sucks.

I would probably go more often if there was nobody there to see me be fat, or make me feel more self-conscious than I do normally. And the worse part is that my gym is part of a swim club, so I get to see all these perfect thin girls tanning/swimming while I bust my ass in the gym… It should be motivating, but it just makes me even more depressed.

If you want to read my progress blog, please message me for the password! I recently made it password protected but just ask for the magic word. ;)

Wow. A year. It’s been a year of this. I’m proud. And I can’t say November until now has seen much in the way of results, but it means I can maintain at least, which I was never really able to do before.

The minus 3 had to be because I was bloated last week, so that makes me feel very, very good!

But now I want to push myself. I find that although nearly 17 pounds lighter, I’m disgusted by myself in pictures. I not only find myself to be larger than what I see in the mirror, but I have a double chin and my face just looks ugly, old and gross to me.

It’s my motivation to become re-dedicated again this summer, because I’m just not okay with the weight I am. This used to be my heavy weight so I’m trying to remember that.

Ask if you want the password. 

I admit it…I’m addicted to carbs, and that’s no way to lose weight! I realize I need much more protein in my diet (especially if I want to see results from P90X!) but I’m having trouble, because I’m a vegetarian! any suggestions?

maybe I’ll start it over again.

yep sounds good to me

Day Four- Your greatest fears about weight loss.

6/4/11

337.8lbs, down 4.2lbs from last week!

No pics yet.

I can feel myself being more… not bony but… bony?  I don’t know how to put it.  

Basically I’m able to feel things on my body I haven’t felt in a long time, like my collarbones, and my feet and hands are a lot more sinewy than they were before.  I’ve been noticing muscles I haven’t seen ever since I started p90x. 

Yay!

also, personal time is a lot more intense, ngl, and I’ve noticed that I’m slimmer *downstairs* as well. ;)

989 calories burned walking 2.46 miles in 50:00 minutes.

Day Twenty-Two- What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?

To be honest, I have no idea. I don’t weigh myself often. I’m going to guess about 100.

I gained mostly because I quit sports towards the end of high school, but also because I went to college, where healthy options are available, but less healthy options are plentiful.

_________________________________________________________________
I must start by saying that I ate entirely too much last night for dinner. I must also say that I don’t believe one should do any differently when eating at one of the highest rated Italian restaurants in San Francisco. In fact, those are the only two things I will say about that.

I didn’t eat too terribly today, considering what I wanted to eat.

Breakfast- Apple, a few cashews

Lunch- Falafel wrap, and I took a lot of the pita off, and my first soda in a month

Dinner- A grilled cheese made with 1 slice of whole wheat bread, a serving of Healthy Choice red beans and rice soup

I’ve been sneaking bits of chocolate, sips of my family’s coffee and other random things all day. I think it’s PMS. Also, even though I’m glad I ate so much yesterday (because it was so good and so worth it), I’m feeling really gross today.

We got home too late from our trip for me to work out. I start work tomorrow, and am planning on loading my lunch with fruit and veggies to hopefully make me feel better. I’ll throw in a little chocolate or something sweet just in case, because these cravings are terrible! I haven’t had any cravings until now!

I think I’ll go drink some water in an attempt to clean out my system.

so i finally got a real gym membership! (yay)

the whole going to my university gym just wasnt working out. the city upped street parking fees so it was like a quarter for five minutes. and then the gym was only open certain hours and not on the weekends and i could only park on the street for like this two hour window…it just wasnt working out. hahaha

so i trucked myself down to the local la fitness and the guy was pretty nice about setting me up with a membership that i could afford.
i went to a place last summer for like $75 for three months which was really small and like my entire high school went there. i just didnt feel like dealing with people hah that sounds horrible, but its true.
you know when you run into someone who like you ‘know’ and its all awkward cause you should probably say hi, but you dont. and then the other person doest say anything so its just this big awkward encounter.

…yeah thats my old gym.

but anyways, this la fitness its pretty nice. its really large and i can take yoga classes for free and stuff so im pumped about that.

today i just jogged on the treadmill for an hour. i was kinda intimidated to go down with the juice head guido’s (okay..they werent really guerillas. but i still felt stupid going down there. :P) to lift weights and do leg machines.

i have this huge bubble blister on my pinky toe, which im hoping takes care of itself by tomorrow…cause i actually want to go to the gym. haha

oh! and today i also pulled weeds and put up this gazebo in my backyard.

in other words, today was pretty successful. right?

sweet dreams. :) 

Breakfast: oatmeal with a sliced banana, some walnuts, and cinnamon-sugar; coffee

Mid-morning snack: bagel twist from DD; more coffee

Lunch: spinach salad with red cabbage, cucumber, carrots, raw pumpkin seeds, raisins, and oil/balsamic vinegar; multigrain tortilla chips with guac

Dinner: (at Pizzeria Uno) Veggie Curry Pasta (small plate- I love that they have this option!) with a side of broccoli and a breadstick; unsweetened iced tea

Nighttime snack: (at Starbucks) Skinny Vanilla Latte (tall)

Exercise: elliptical for 1 hour

Sorry I haven’t been posting! This past week has been madness! I had to get all my traffic tickets straightened out. I did traffic school for one and went to court and lost for the other… But hey. Haha, at least they’re dealt with!

On the way, I lost track of my eating habits because of all the stress… But I’m back on it. And I actually spent two hours on the elliptical at the gym today because I was engulfed in the NBA Finals (GO MAVS!). Hahaha.

Anyway, I’m going to Disneyland on Thursday! Woohoo! Every time I go, I always manage to lose weight. I guess it’s because we don’t eat as much, and we’re always walking!

But until then, it’s healthy eating and being a gym rat. (=

xoxo sarah

Hey there! I’m actually not tracking my calories for weight loss reasons, I’m doing it to ensure that I’m not undereating.. which is very possible considering I’m not used to getting all of my calories from fruits and greens.

I have nothing against those foods, I just like to keep things simple and concentrate more on fruits and leafy greens. I also don’t particularly like the taste of those foods. I actually have a ton of different fruits and greens in my kitchen (I’ll be sure to do a post one of these days), I just don’t eat all of them on the same day. For example, I would eat a bag of grapes for breakfast on one day.. and mangos the next. Uncomplicated mono-meals are the easiest to digest, and it’s kind of fun to be able to dedicate an entire meal to one of my favorite fruits.

But yes, variety is key. Oh, and so nice to see that produce gets you excited.. that is quite rare in this day and age!

I am afraid that I will not be about to loose enough weight in time to look good for my wedding, also that I won’t notice/be able to recognize and be happy when I reach a good weight

Day Sixteen- When did you first decide to lose weight?

The Shake Cleanse uses Shakeology® in creating multiple day cleanses to jump start you in your fitness, break a plateau or shred pounds fast & effectively in a healthy way.

The basics are as follows:

3 Shakeology® Shakes a day 2 Cups of Green Tea a Day 1-2 piece(s) of fruit a day 1 Salad for dinner- You can load up on greens and vegetables. Only Low Fat DressingsOnly white grilled protein in salad - Poultry or Fish!

NO: DAIRY or EXTRA SUGARS, diet soda, Almond, Soy, or Rice milk

You can put your 2 snacks before/after any of the MAJOR MEALS - Breakfast Lunch & Dinner

The 2nd piece of fruit is optional. Some of you will need the calories where others will not. Power workout participants (Super Conditioned- not the weight challenged) are recommended the greater calories.

REPEAT all 3 Days

BREAKFAST:

Shakeology® 140 calories, 1 scoop

add ice and mix in blender

10-12 oz of water

SNACK (85 calories):

1 piece of fruit

1 cup of green tea (I used Lipton mixed berry or cranberry pomegranate green tea)

LUNCH:

Shakeology® (140 calories), 1 scoop

Add ice and mix in a blender

10-12 oz of water

SNACK:

Shakeology® 140 calories, 1 scoop

add ice and mix in a blender

10-12 oz of water

DINNER:

Salad Grilled white fish or poultry (~340 calories)

2 T low calorie/low fat dressing (I used plain red wine vinegar and extra virgin olive oil)

1 cup of green tea (I used Lipton mixed berry or cranberry pomegranate green tea)

Workouts should be LIGHT during the cleanse: moderate walking and/or light weights

Participants have reported weight loss between 3 lbs and 9 lbs!

What does the Medical Community think of Shakeology? Just watch:

Goal: Stop eating things after dinner just because I still have calories left on MFP. If I’m not hungry, don’t eat!

This is easy enough to say, but let’s see if I can accomplish it all week. For some reason, when I see that I have calories left in the day, I automatically assume that I must still be hungry. I need to remember that it’s okay to stop eating when I am full even if I’m under calories.

seeing real live people’s progress and struggles with fitness and healthy eating.  It’s so much more real to me to be able to read about someone’s journey than simply seeing a before/after. 

Lifestyle changes are not easy, and I know I’ll make mistakes, hit plateaus, and get frustrated…but with the support and encouragement of this community, I will reach my goals.

Keep up the good work, everyone!

http://findingthinagain.tumblr.com/

http://a-fitspirational-blonde.tumblr.com/

http://justbreathe11.tumblr.com/

http://matchstickmolly.com/

http://undressedskeleton.tumblr.com/

Your workout routine

Whatever that Insanity calendar dishes out at me for the day.

And I just looked at the calendar for the first time to see what I’m doing today and had my heart skipped. This week is RECOVERY WEEK!!!! I do Core Cardio and Balance every day for 6 days. Not exactly sure what that workout entails, but at least I’m not going to kill myself with Pure Cardio or Cardio Power and Resistance! WOOOO!!

Off to do some Insanity!

Hey S1C (Square One Challenge) Posters,

I have some good news and some bad news.  The good news is I am back and going to start posting and updating this week. Bad news is, I’m still at Square One.  My neck, shoulder and back got messed up again putting me on the side line.  I just woke up last week and it was all messed up.  I’m really paying the price for this injury last October and it’s starting to frustrate me.  I did have a realization this weekend that I am just not ready for P90X.  It is putting to much strain on my physically and mentally.  When I do P90X I remember where I was before my injury, what I could do, and now that I am back to the beginning and I keep straining an old injury it is frustrating to me so I’m switching to a program that I know works, that doesn’t put excessive strain on my neck, back or shoulder, but I have yet to complete.  That program is RevAbs. 

I have started it about 3 times and every time I get to day 30 I catch the P90X bug, doubt WHY am I doing RevAbs when I should be doing P90X, I make the switch then a few weeks later, I’m sidelined.  My goal is to complete a full 90 days of RevAbs starting today.  I’m going to post a video today about this too.  Thanks for being there for me and thank you Jillian for texting me this weekend and calling me out.  I appreciate the support.  Talk to you all soon,

Joey

I lost 4.9 pounds this week.

4.9!

SW: 247.6

PW: 219.4

CW: 214.5

I wish I knew exactly what made the difference this week. I’ve actually been a little bit looser with my calories- going over by 100 or so some days. But, I’ve also been trying out different kinds of exercise. I did a ton of dancing this week, and I’ve been adding in short workouts during the day when I have a spare 10 minutes or so. Whatever it is, I hope to keep it up (sans the crying during workouts. That’s not fun)!

Green Tea: It also helps in weight loss by preventing bloating.

Dairy Products: Just choose the low-fat variant though.

Oatmeal: The high fiber and low-fat oatmeal is a good choice.

Hot Peppers: The capsaicin chemical found in chili is known to give metabolism quite a kick.

Protein: When going for protein, lean turkey meat and chicken breast are fine choices.

Broccoli: The broccoli is a great choice with its 20-calorie per cup rating. Also, it is rich in calcium which has been linked by numerous studies to weight loss. It is also rich in vitamin C which aids better calcium absorption.

Grapefruit: Chemicals found in grapefruit actually helps lower insulin levels which are helpful in facilitating weight loss.

Mangosteen: This fruit is known to improve the function of the excretory system and thus rid the body of toxins.

Coffee: Drinking about two cups of coffee everyday can jumpstart your metabolism. Any more than three cups though is not advisable.

do i wake up at 6 and go.

it opens at 7am and i like being early as possible because then there won’t be people there (the odd one maybe) and im really really self concious

and i have a big scar across my leg from my burn

so its all very difficult hm i really want to go though its so good for your muscles and things

I first decided to lose weight years ago.

And I tried. I’d start working out, and eating smaller portions. But I’d always end up going all out, then taking a day off. A day would turn into 2, then a week, and before I knew it a few months would have passed, and I wouldn’t have had a single workout.

Then last year something just clicked. I did what I could, and didn’t feel guilty when I had to take breaks. If I needed a day off, I’d make sure I took one, then start right back up the next day. And eventually I just learned to love working out. And now I’ve reached a level of fitness that I will not give up. I want to keep getting better. I’ve worked way too hard to let all I’ve achieved slip away.

I’ve also learned so much about how the food I eat affects everything from my skin, to my workout intensity, to how I feel throughout the day that I could never go back to just eating junk.

I’ve gone off on a bit of a tangent here, haven’t I? lol All in all, I’ve been trying for years to lose weight, but I didn’t succeed at it until about the last year and a half or so. And now there is no going back. :)

Band Wagon

Your body on Coke

Food

i had a bowl of special k cereal, and coffee

snacks: i had a ceral bar

snacks: one string chesse

and lunch i had a cearl bowl

dinner: not yet aten, ill post later.

Activites

I cleaned the whole house, thanks to that coffee

and did some jumping jacks, and probably look up some exercise online. i’ll update soon

“So before you say, “I could never give up meat,” realize that nearly every single vegetarian on the planet said those same words. Then shut the fuck up, look at an inspirational picture of a skinny bitch, and clean out your freezer.”

- Skinny Bitch is becoming my new favorite book.

I couldn’t resist weighing myself today…..it seems I am back down to 255.2, which is fantastic because at the end of the week I want to be out of the 250’s. No, I WILL be out of the 250’s. It’s my plateau that I have been unable to pass since last summer. 253, to be exact. I will pass it. Once I pass it I think it will all go very smooth. That dress I tried on at my starting weight (260) isn’t as snug!! I think it will fit at 245. At 230 I will post another photo of myself.  

i’m over weight, 10lbs off being obese :(

but you know what? i’m gonna do it anyway.

STAYING STRONG.

Fell off the healthy band wagon for about a week there…and the vegetarian one too :( BUT I’m getting back on both and figuring out my new lifestyle. It would be easier if it wasn’t just me and my boyfriend living together while he eats meat like it’s his job and him also cooking the majority of the meals. I tried to cook the other day and I overcooked, but undercooked the rice if that makes any sense - I burnt it on the bottom from cooking it at too high of a heat and mixed it too much while it was cooking so it didn’t actually cook so it turned to a mushy, burnt mess. Bah. I also managed to break a wooden spoon while waiting for my rice to burn.

Seriously need to get a veggie cookbook so that I can make some legitimate food instead of drinking all of these protein shakes and scrambled eggs.

The term band wagon also made me really miss playing the saxophone - I should see if I can get my old one back from my aunt and uncle :)

wahhhhh

It’s Friday - which means I got on the scale this morning….

Progress: -24.4 lbs

To Goal: -20.6 lbs

Days In: 228

Days Until my 30th Birthday: 311

I lost 1.4 pounds this week

In the last TWO weeks - I’ve lost 2.6 lbs

Before tri workouts started - I’d drop an average of -.75/week (1.5 lbs every 2 weeks)

Which means - I’m losing ~75% more weight because of the tri training - that’s HUGE

It might just be an adjustment - and the weight loss may slow again, but for today… I’m a happy girl!!!

Just checked in for some lovely thinspiration. Now I’m going for my MWF run! Wish me luck!

How is everyone else doing?

I managed 5 morning runs this week! Five! To total 23 km. I plan on covering another 5k tomorrow then giving myself a rest day on Sunday aka fathers day and maybe go for a swim instead. Thanks mom for waking me up every morning at 640!

Photo

yay for trying on old jeans :-)

had 30 cals today and going out now with friends to avoid eating! bye xx

I’m now 141lbs :’)

1 more pound and I’m at my 1st goal weight!

how can being thin be more important than my parents. when did i become so disgustingly self centered?

Going a little easier on myself today since I haven’t had a real rest day in 2 weeks.  Just...

Tomorrow I am going for a run. All my organised sports have finished… so it’s time to do something I’ve always hated and run on my own.

Weight: 156.6

The boyfriend and I woke up this morning, resistant to going to work, but in a good mood with energy nonetheless. I will be fasting again today, I’m hoping it will go better than yesterday, since I do have a shorter day at work today. I may even get a walk in after work, but who knows since I have a shit ton to do before I leave town for the weekend. I still need to get some money out of the bank for bills and start shopping for fathers day.

I will probably do a small workout at home before I head off to work, I need to do whatever I can today since I will be at my boyfriends for the rest of the weekend. I know fasting Saturday and Sunday will not be entirely possible. So I plan to pack up some of my own food, some vegetables and fruit to bring over, so that he knows that I’m eating something at least and doesn’t force me to go out for dinner.

It’s 3 a.m. Going to the beach at 11a.m. If I don’t fall asleep soon, I’m gonna be napping on my beach towel all afternoon! Not ready for this, but compared to the last time I was there, I am noticeably improved so I’m not gonna fret. Confidence (even forced) makes you more attractive. And I got numerous comments today from people I hadn’t seen in awhile that said I looked skinny! Yay!

300 calories today. Goal for tomorrow—> keep calories under 450, go to gym and do workout DVD at home, and drink more water. Easy.

Send here or to my ask box which is even better…..

long overdue goal weight/progress pictures. second goal weight was actually 275, but i am now 273. 75 pounds of healthy weight loss.

just looked through some pictures of me

This means I do most of my workouts at night.  Mostly before bed.  I’m a freak and working out before bed actually makes me sleep better so…

This also sucks, because I reach my net calories and then burn them and then end up in a situation where I run around 600 net calories and don’t feel like eating. 

I’m trying to start working out in the morning.  Like today, I walked/ran this morning on the treadmill and it was nice.  So I guess I’m gonna keep doing that.

So today I officially started cycle 1: accelerate.

The purpose of this cycle is to start the rapid weight loss basically by detoxing your body. For the next seventeen days, I’m allowed unlimited protein (meat, poultry, fish, and my favorite, eggs!), but I have to limit my carbs. By reducing carbs, my body will have to turn to fat to convert into energy. Also, cutting sugar is a big part of this step. The book suggest truvia as an alternative to sugar, and also to splenda/equal/sweet’n’low.  I HATE splenda with such a passion, but I had a truvia in my green tea before and it tasted like sugar. So thumbs up for that.

Anyhoo, I don’t want to get into all that technical stuff right now, i’ll do that maybe over the weekend. Today was particularly hard because I didn’t have any food prepared, and I only had some frozen vegetables, a little chicken. but here’s how my day went:

-Woke up at 10:30am: i’m still trying to straighten out my sleep cycle, so I had gone to bed around 2am, so I still got eight hours. I already take meletonin (a vitamin) to sleep, so I took that about an hour ago, so I should be asleep fairly quickly, and I hope to be up.

-Drank 8oz of hot water with half a lemon: the book suggests to do this every morning because it “awakens your digestive juices,” or something like that. to be honest, it doesn’t taste too good, but the lemon did wake me up some.

-By 11:00am went for a walk: the book (yes, I will be referencing the book a lot so I do suggest you buy it) directs to have 17 minutes of exercise to day, twice ideally. The 17 minutes I think is just a cutesy consistency with the title, but I walked around the state park for 45 minutes, just because it’s a full loop and I hate backtracking.

-Ate breakfast around 12:10: I still haven’t figured out if I want/should eat before or after walking, but today I decided to do it after. I had two scramble eggs with a sprinkle of low fat cheddar cheese with some salsa. Salsa is on the list of unlimited things you can have as dressings during this cycle, and it tastes really good with eggs. Also, by scrambling my eggs, I cut down on the amount of grease on my eggs.

-Lunch at 2:30: because I have to leave for work at 3:30, I had to have lunch a little early (meaning closer to breakfast than 3 hours, which is ideal). I made a salad with iceberg lettuce, orange peppers, cucumber, tomato, and a serving (palm sized) of grilled chicken. I drizzled a tablespoon of olive oil, with two tablespoons of balsamic vinaigrette for a dressing.

-Snack at 5:00pm: just had a chobiani Greek yogurt. nothing too special.

-Ritas: everyone at work got ritas and I caved and got a small vanilla custard (i figured it would hve less sugar than an Italian ice). I immediately regretted it, only ate three bites, and gave it to a coworker. I’m awarding myself ten points because I definitely would not have done that before.

-Dinner around 7:30: before work, steamed corn and defrosted some broccoli and had with another serving of chicken. it was pretty plain, but very filling. Corn actually isn’t on the list of unlimited veggies, but I didn’t have anything else. I’ll have to keep that in mind when stopping for veggies tomorrow.

-Cookies :( I baked some cookies for a friend that i’m seeing tomorrow and I munched on some dough. When the cookies were ready however, I let them cool and packed them up right away so I wouldn’t be tempted. I only had one small one with some milk. After eating healthy all day though, I do feel a little sick and “blah”

 

Today kind of look me by surprise, mostly cause I didn’t have all the food I needed. I need to buy a lot more veggies and fruit, and some more ingredients for meals. Tomorrow though, i’ve leaving my house fairly early and spending the day down at my friends house about two hours away. I hope to get in a walk in the morning before I leave and making breakfast, but i’m worried about the other meals, especially because I don’t know anything food places in the area. I am, however, looking forward to starbucks (for which my town lacks). I think i’m just going to go with an iced coffee with soy milk and a truvia. that’s not to be right?

See you later!

-A

I’ve never done it before- but I can’t stop feeling guilty for what I ate today. I’m scared to try it- but I feel like I have too. Ugh.

At least tomorrow is a new day.

Wednesday, June 8th 2011

To be honest I did slack of today and didn’t hit the gym, but I did do a little light exercise before bed

> 200 Crunches

30 Day Wight Loss Challenge

Day Three - Thinspiration

I’m not really into thinspiration. I look at it sometimes but usually to see what these girls are wearing. I’m really into fashion and clothes and things of that nature. I love lookbook.com and whowhatwear.com. I look at those websites all the time and i would love to feel more comfortable in my clothes and wear different, fun things! 

I also have a total girl crush on Binki Shapiro from the band Little Joy. She is beautiful, talented and has great STYLE. A really inspiring woman.

Haven’t had a chance to weigh myself yet this week. I’ve been crazy busy with summer school starting (chemistry from 9:30am to 2:30pm…sick)  and working six days this week. I managed to fit some exercise in tonight though. Did my first day of the 30 Day Shred and swam laps for about 30 minutes.

Morning~

In about 2 hours I’ll have my maths exam and all I can think about is, how can I get rid of these calories of my fxxking and horrible breakfast.

My mother forced me to eat 3 (!!!) little pieces of some kind of brownies. And then also gave me a sandwich for the exam. And if it’s not already enough, she gave me 5€ for lunch :’D

I think this woman doesn’t understand anything. Or my mind is just kinda damaged. I mean, HOW can people eat breakfast, snack, lunch and dinner?!

I would cry my eyes out if I had to eat this much…

But well~ that’s just my opinion. My family has very different thoughts.

Anyways. Wish me luck for the exam, I’ll be back after it.

Stay strong my sweeties ? 

Day Twenty-Six- What excites you most about reaching your ugw?

Half of it is the thrill of experiencing something new. Something I’ve never ever had. The second part is getting to wear the clothes. I want to wear anything I want. Mary Kate Olsen dresses in a way that if she had like, 10 spare pounds, she’d constantly look like a bag lady, rather than a billionaire. I want that power. 

couldn’t bring myself to do it. I hate myself right now.

Xenadrine Water
Breakfast: Grapes, Peach
Snack: Banana Chips
Xen Water
Lunch:  Protein Bar
Xen Water
Dinner: Breaded Fake Chicken Nuggets w/ Hot & Sweet Mustard and a side salad w/ fat free balsamic vinaigrette dressing

man junior year of high school I was gettinn bigg!

and even at the beginning of this year!

I may not be 100% happy with what I look like now, but I am glad I’ve lost weight!  

It motivates me to keep going! 

slloooowwwlllyy

Do skinny girls make more money?

While it should not make any sense at all, the sad reality is that no only do thin girls easily find relatively good jobs, they also make at least $22,000 more each year.  In a study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, overweight or obese women make even less than a woman of average weight.  If you are not mad yet, listen to this one, for guys it makes no difference what their weight is.  Actually, most of my middle aged bosses are pot bellied slobs.

Day One- Your stats

Age: 24

Height: 6’0”

Weight: 177lbs

Size: UK 14-16 (bottoms) and 14 (tops)

Day Two- How tall are you? Do you like your height?
Day Three- A picture of your thinsperation. What features do you like about this person?
Day Four- Your greatest fears about weight loss.
Day Five- Why do you really want to lose this weight? Are you doing it for you?
Day Six- Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.
Day Seven- Do your parents know you’re trying to lose weight? Do they care? 
Day Eight- Your workout routine.
Day Nine- Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?
Day Ten- What was the hardest thing you gave up during this “weight loss.”
Day Eleven- Your favorite thinspo blog and why!
Day Twelve- What do you normally eat?
Day Thirteen- Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?
Day fourteen- What’s your UGW? When you expect to reach it?
Day Fifteen- Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?
Day Sixteen- When did you first decide to lose weight?
Day Seventeen- Do you have an eating disorder?
Day Eighteen- What food is your weakness?
Day Nineteen- When is the last time you ate fast food?
Day Twenty- Favorite diet?
Day Twenty-One- What are your clothing sizes?
Day Twenty-Two- What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?
Day Twenty-Three- Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?
Day Twenty-Four- How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia
Day Twenty-Five- Have you ever purged? If you have describe your first experience. 
Day Twenty-Six- What excites you most about reaching your ugw?
Day Twenty-Seven- How do you deal with being around food?
Day Twenty-Eight- Do you want that “gap” between your legs? Why?
Day Twenty-Nine- Your definition of beauty.
Day Thirty-  10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?

Gotta get my wedding ring sized down and some links taken out of my watch! Nice problems to have.

DON’T EVER WORK OUT IF YOU HAVE NOT EATEN ALL DAY!!!!!!

I hadn’t eaten all day but I worked out anyways, figuring I would be okay.

WRONG.

Close to the end of my work out, I felt like throwing up so bad and my stomach hurt so much I couldn’t even concentrate anymore. I had to stop for a bit so I wouldn’t throw up all over the floor. I just finished working out and my stomach is still hurting really bad.

Shitty work out, ughh.

My five mile bike ride turned into a 6.3 mile bike ride. The weather went from dreary to beautiful and I didn’t want to stop.

so,

“I got you nutella too”

MOM!!! ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN ME? hahaha oy vey- everything in moderation!

I was looking for bathing suits, but apparently they don’t sell them.  I grabbed a few dresses...

Never realized how fucking ugly I am until now…

Finished day 2 week 3 of c25k. I was sweating buckets..literally. Bad thing was that I have misplaced my gym key, so my mom had to sneak me in tonight! Eeek@ I also went for a country bike ride with my best friend :). It was so fucking cold out today…brrrr! I’m hoping to hit my big deal goal in 2 pounds and my 30 pound mini goal in 7 pounds! Finishing off my night with some delicious fruit (apple, banana, pear)!

i am completely off track.

blueberry muffin for breakfast.

chipotle for lunch.

410 + 650 = 1,060 alone wtf?

skipped dinner, had about 10 french fries instead.

what the hell is wrong with me?

first day without new followers, probably deserved that.

no exercise.

not even gonna deal with this

probably just gonna fast now yaaay it was so good last time.

somehow, on these days that are so bad, are the days that i actually have a social life and friends - but i leave the house after looking in the mirror and feeling awful. it’s not worth it. i’d rather feel beautiful and lose the weight first, then go and be happy. 

i don’t need to be happy to do this right. 

If you have any requests for healthy recipes let me know! My family has started trying (and loving) the healthy food I'm making so I go through it faster and can try more new things! :D I only make vegetarian/ fish for myself but I'm more than happy to create a meat recipe for you to try! :)

I was sitting in a huge empty parking lot, on the top of my car with my summer fling.  We got on the conversation of girl’s pants and how tight they are. 

Me-It’s so hard to find pants because look at the ones I’m wearing now (motioning at my black skinny jeans), they fit me perfectly on the legs but look how big they are in the upper thigh/hips (pulling to expose the tons of extra fabric).

Him-haha maybe you should just gain some weight to fit into them

Me-ummm no, I would prefer to not be fat

Him-Yeah but too skinny isn’t okay either. The anorexic type of skinny where the girl looks like she could honestly pass out in 2 seconds or you could break her by touching her.

Me- yet you see millions of girls all over the world starving themselves to look like that (thinking of myself)

Him-yeah but the thing is, no boy likes girls that thin. I’ve never met a guy ever that said his type was the type that was stick thin, never.

he is missing the point, we starve ourselves for ourselves primarily, and secondarily others. I don’t starve myself because I only want boys, but I starve myself out of fear of becoming fat and it’s the only thing I can control anymore (what goes in my mouth).

he also just made me realize that i’m not skinny enough yet because he didn’t categorize me with the “too skinny” girls.

xoxo sarah

So today was okay, I guess. I lost another pound - I’m at 129 exactly! But I ate so fucking much today and girlfriend wants me to start eating 1,200 calories a day and guess what’s not going to happen? That. 

Calorie Count

Total intake: 1,116 (jesus fucking christ)

Total outtake: 222 (so far, I need to burn 194 more)

Total net intake: 894

So damn, I’m just going to have to do better this weekend and maybe I’ll be able to convince her that I’m okay. I don’t know. I’ll just work out and get my net intake down to 700 and maybe tomorrow I can eat under 700. I really hope so. I need to be skinny.

i think my body is oddly shaped … i didn’t really realize it until today thought that i have a pretty small torso, but loooong legs. yeah, that bugs me … but whatever haha

and i just realized that with how much i’ve been running, i haven’t gotten shin splints! which actually makes me really happy because when i run (well jog) i go for 5 miles at the time!

and, p90x seems kind of interesting. but i don’t think i’m going to buy it. but it seems pretty cool.

okay, this was really random! ;)

Yesterday's intake and exercise

Okay so I really didn’t want to post this buuuut…yeah, this is what I look like now. I think I’m a little bloated because I’m getting my period but you guys get the idea. I’m 5’8 and I haven’t weighed myself in like 3 days but I’m assuming I’m in 163-158 range?

little bit of progress. 

Less fatty arms/haven’t got layers of flab covering my hipbones.

I do however look pregnant. fml. 

I lost another 2.2 lbs! yay :)

Wow, this guy knows his shit!  Everything he says is so true and might be able to help you take weight loss to the next level.

i’m open to follow any weight loss blogs so if anyone knows any tell me! :333

 Breakfast: 

bananna & Morning star farms “sausage” and egg biscuit=7 pts

Lunch: 

Slow cooker Ropa Vieja with some cheese on top

Salad with a small bit of cheese and Crutons and 1000isl dressing = 10 pts

Dinner

Grilled chicken

Mashed potatoes(instant)

Stuffing

Creamed spinach with laughing cow light swiss = 14 

Snacks= 

WW fruties = 2

Jamba Juice bar= 2

Grilled turkey and cheese on light bread =5

39/59

activity points earned =2

Recipe for Ropa Vieja:  http://www.weightwatchers.com/food/rcp/index.aspx?recipeid=110251 I reccomend this recipe. I was really tasty. I added a 1/2 can of stewed tomatoes to mine. Plus this recipe makes a ton! Me and the boyfriend has made this into several meals and have some frozen. 

GAH! I still have 20 points left over! I am really having trouble eating all my points when I eat at home all meals. I could have had more veggies and fruit today, but I just would have been lower in points. I was feeling bad about the stuffing and potatoes with dinner. I made them both b/c my boyfriend really doesn’t eat veggies, so if my sides are veggies I usually find something quick and easy that he will eat. So far on my days off work, I have ussually be higher in the points, but for some reason today I didn’t go over board with the eating.

I need to find a better way to post this, I couldn’t get a screen shot to work for some reason. 

50 TIPS TO HELP YOU SUCCEED AT “NORMAL” EATING 
from psychology of eating expert Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed. 
author of 


No matter how many years or decades you’ve been overeating or how many 
diets have failed you (notice I didn’t say that you failed on the diets but that they failed 
you!), you can learn how to become a “normal” eater—eating when you’re hungry, 
choosing satisfying foods, remaining aware and enjoying food, and stopping when 
you’re full or satisfied. To do so, you will have to be focused like a laser and persistent 
like a dog digging for a bone, not expect overnight success, switch your attention from 
the scale to your appetite, and learn effective life skills to manage stress and distress. 
I’ve taught hundreds of disregulated eaters how to eat “normally” and I can teach 
you! Here are 50 tips to speed you on your way… 

Self-Talk 
1. Look in the mirror daily and tell yourself you can learn the skills of “normal” eating. 
2. Instead of thinking there are “good” and “bad” foods, consider them as nutritional 
or non-nutritional (“good” and “bad” are moral terms that are best avoided in the 
food arena). 
3. Don’t put yourself down for the mistakes you make with food. Rather, lavishly 
praise yourself for all your successes, even the tiniest ones. 
4. If experience tells you that diets don’t keep your weight off, don’t try to convince 
yourself you should be dieting. Instead, give yourself points for trying a different 
approach. 
5. Never say anything to yourself you wouldn’t say to a young child you love, 
including calling yourself stupid, hopeless, bad, a failure, worthless. Be your own 
cheerleader by generating positive thoughts about your progress. 
6. Avoid all-or-nothing thinking and using words like never and always. Remind 
yourself that most of life is not black and white, but gray. 
7. Detoxify negative things people say about you that are untrue rather than repeating 
them to yourself. Remember that what people say belongs to them, not to you, 
even if your name is attached to their words. 
8. Ask yourself often how you are feeling so you can become connected to your 
emotions, but ask only with curiosity not condemnation. 
9. Stop judging yourself harshly and start developing self-compassion. Treat yourself 
lovingly and practice speaking to yourself with extreme esteem. 
10. Do not keep telling yourself that learning to be a “normal” eater is hard because 
saying so only programs you to find the work difficult. Instead, substitute the words 
challenging or doable. 

Hunger 
11. Check in with yourself often to see how hungry you are using descriptions such as 
not hungry, moderate, very, famished or a 1-10 scale. 
12. Every time you think about food, ask yourself if you’re really hungry enough to eat. 
13. Experiment with eating smaller meals more frequently. 
14. Consider your hunger as a signal that you need fuel, not that you have to go out 
and seek the most fantastic eating experience of your life. 
15. Practice believing that hunger is for fuel and pleasure, not for meeting emotional 
needs. 

Choosing Satisfying Foods 
16. Don’t get hung up on what other people are eating, but ask yourself what you 
would like to eat. 
17. Remind yourself that foods fall on a nutritional continuum (high value/low value), 
not on a moral continuum (good/bad). 
18. Never eat without stopping to consider what you want first. Spend time making a 
satisfying choice. 
19. Refrain from allowing guilt or shame to contaminate your eating decisions. 
20. Don’t eat foods you don’t find satisfying because they’ll remind you of being on a 
diet. 

Eating with Awareness and Enjoyment 
21. Before you eat, look at your food, the portion size, its presentation. Breathe 
deeply. 
22. Chew every mouthful thoroughly to release flavor. 
23. Let food sit on your tongue to let your taste buds absorb flavor. 
24. When you’re talking, stop eating and when you’re eating, stop talking. 
25. Stay connected to your body’s appetite signals while you’re eating. 
26. Push away guilt and shame while you’re eating and focus on sensory pleasure. 
27. Pause while you’re eating to see how you’re feeling about your food in terms of 
quality and quantity. 
28. Stop eating when flavor pleasure declines as it will after a while. 
29. Rather than being determined to polish off all of the food in front of you, seek the 
moment when flavor peaks and you feel an internal “Ah” of satisfaction—and stop. 
30. Keep asking yourself while you’re eating, “Am I full?” and “Am I satisfied?” 

Stopping When You’re Full or Satisfied 
31. Think of full as being enough food (fuel) in your belly and satisfied as being the 
high point of pleasure. 
32. Quantify fullness and satisfaction with numbers or words such as nearly, too, just 
or a 1-10 scale. 
33. When you feel full or satisfied, focus on that sensation and broadcast it to your 
whole body. 
34. When you’re done eating, put down utensils, push away your plate, get up—do 
whatever you need to do to disconnect yourself from the food. 
35. Make sure you’re not focusing on the food that’s left and believing you have to 
fini**** or clean your plate. You decide when enough is enough. 

Beliefs to Change 
36. From “I need to diet to lose weight” to “Diets don’t work long term.” 
37. From “This is too hard” to “I can learn to do this over time.” 
38. From “This will take too long” to “If I don’t change now, I’ll only be back in this 
same place again so I might as well get going on it.” 
39. From “Losing weight is the most important thing” to “I will lose weight if I honor my 
appetite and learn to eat ‘normally.’” 
40. From “I am bad/worthless/ugly if I’m overweight,” to “I accept my body as it is and 
will still try to improve it.” 

Stopping Emotional Eating 
41. When you have the urge to eat when you’re not hungry, ask yourself what you 
might be feeling. 
42. Remind yourself that feelings need a different response than food. 
43. Get to know what emotions trigger unwanted eating—boredom, loneliness, anxiety, 
shame, guilt, disappointment, helplessness—and then learn better ways of dealing 
with them. 
44. Keep a feelings log so you know what’s going on inside of yourself all day long. 
45. Reduce stress which will lessen frustration, helplessness, and feeling 
overwhelmed. 
46. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself as least as well as you take care of 
others. 
47. If you find yourself eating when you’re upset, don’t be hard on yourself. Be 
compassionate and curious and consider your behavior a learning experience. 
48. Get help through therapy if you have a history of trauma or abuse, as there is a 
strong correlation between such a history and emotional eating. 
49. Be responsible for yourself and don’t blame others for your emotional eating. 
50. Tell yourself that you can bear any emotion, practice doing so, and you’ll be 
amazed at the emotional muscle you’ll build.

If I start working out 5 times a week, I could possibly reach my ultimate goal weight by the time new years rolls around.

I think I’m going to try and ease into it. I’ll go for 45 minutes one day, and 60 minutes the next.

…idk I’ll figure something out.

Again, not very happy I went over 1200, but I did rollerblade for an hour again yesterday. I’m SO SORE this morning from it.

I kinda ate shit today :/

Lunch

Work up this morning to find my fiber cereal is all gone. Someone ate the rest of it which doesn’t really make me too happy. There wasn’t much else in my house for breakfast besides a breakfast drink mix. It was filling but I would have much rather had my freaking cereal. -.-

Anyways, I’m changing up my exercise routine today. I’m going to go ahead and eat lunch then maybe go for a quick walk around the block then eat dinner around 5 or so then exercise for about an hour at home. I really wish I had a gym membership somewhere close to my house but I’ll work with what I have I suppose.

I’m also trying not to eat past 6 in the evening and trying to get to bed around 10 pm and no later. Having a little bit of struggling with going to bed earlier because of insomnia but I’m hoping pumping up my exercise time will help tired me out a bit and allow me to start going to bed earlier.

I feel really good today, like reaaaally good, best I’ve felt in a while and even though I’m not seeing much change, there is a little, I can feel it.

Here’s to feeling motivated today!

Yeah now I’m sitting here cooling down from Wii Fit. I swear, I push ridiculously hard at that thing! 

Highlights include 60 jackknives and holding a plank for 114 seconds. Not bad for a fat girl! 

Completely unrelated, but I have a hole in my sneakers. No, not my converse or TOMS, my Asics. Guess it really is time for a new pair, I was going to wait until I reached 230 to get them but it looks like I’ll have to get some next week regardless. 

When you do it for them, you lose. You have to do this for y o u.

When my mom used to tell me to stop eating so much, I used to blame her. Looking back, I was so wrong. It was all me. I ate too much and I didn’t exercise enough. But when she would tell me to put down all of that junk food and the extra helpings, I got angry and I just wanted to eat more and more.

But, on that February Tuesday after I went out to dinner with my friend and ate a slice of pizza with ham, chicken, mozzarella cheese and vodka sauce, that’s when I knew it had to end. That’s the day I started my journey and I never looked back. Yes, of course I had my binges and my days when I quit exercising, but that was my lowest point. It was also my highest weight. I’m down at least 12 pounds since then, and while it might not seem like a lot, it’s a hell of a lot better than nothing. 

So do it for you. 

More reason to starve :)

No lie, that 149 lbs weigh in discouraged me a bit :( Lol! I’m pretty sure I sound like a big sap but I really wasn’t expecting to weigh that much. I definitely have to get a second weigh in. Hopefully the next one will show me weighing less ( a lot less) and I can find my motivation.

I’d love to go for a run [okay, okay, a jog broken up with short periods of walking because I’m still not a runner], but earlier this week I stepped on a piece of metal the size of a nail and ran it completely through my big toe. Yeah. Fun. I’m trying to avoid anything high impact for a little while to give it time to heal.

For that reason, I’m thinking of putting my 8 pound dumbbells to good use. I’ll be sure to post whatever exercise I end up doing.

I’d love to know your favorite way to work your arms. Drop some ideas in my ask box? : ] 

I love looking at other healthy blogs and I want to share my own tips. I’ve lost 32 pounds in the past year the healthy way and I would like to have something to keep track of this progress aside from a number on a scale.

I don’t know.

So delicious! It’s filled with veggies and couscous is super easy to make (it actually cooks itself, just boil water, add couscous, take off heat and cover for 10 minutes, that’s it!).

You don’t have to bake this but I like it with the little bit of crisp on the outside!

Recipe here: http://piecesinprogress.tumblr.com/pastapossibilities

123 calories, 2 fat, 24 carbs, 2.5 fiber, 4 protein

I didn’t drink enough water yesterday which is why I didn’t lose anything. I drank a bit less than normal and that combined with the incredible heat/ massive sweating in my workout means I got dehydrated. I’m rehydrating today and looking forward to being back where I should be tomorrow! :)

The good side is I informally took my measurements and am going to be down at least another inch from my hips and half inch from my waist again! I love that what I’m losing is fat loss because it’s really noticeable. I’m wearing a tank today that I’ve been too embarrassed to wear since I got it and it’s actually loose on me now! :D

Today, I had a free 15 minute personal training session. I was sweating like hell and out of breath by the end of it! I can’t wait to start doing it every week. She was great.

After that, I came in and got a nice glass of ice water. I am trying to cut out soda for now. I am a diet soda ADDICT! I don’t drink coffee or tea so I drink diet soda for my energy. But I drink anywhere from 2-5 cokes a day! It’s way too much.

So right now there is no soda. I am going to try to do no soda until the 16th.

So, I made Caroline a mayo, cheese, and tomato sandwich on wheat. Phil had left overs from when we had mexican the other day. And I made myself a reduced fat peanut butter and banana sandwich on wheat bread with my water. I feel good right now. Exhausted… but good

When I go back to school after summer…

i would just like to say that everyone should stop talking about Yuri’s weight loss. it’s her body and she has every right to look how she wants to look. what’s important is that she feels beautiful, and it looks like she enjoys the way she looks so stop gossiping about it.

Cool.

Dear Young Me,

Sorry, I won’t ever add approximately 60 pounds to you again…

Love always,

4 Years Later

iknowicandothis: I was shocked when I saw the first picture on the left…It’s working!:D

So today my total was 740 calories, 85g carbs, 60g protein, and 15g of fat :) I know realisticly I should be eating more, but I’m honestly not real hungry, and I really really need to lose this weight fast for summer parties that are coming up. I have to be at 125lbs before I feel like I’m good enough to wear a bikini. That’s almost 20lbs I have to lose ASAP!!! yikes!!!

I did the 100 workout today too! I loved it, I was sweating and felt good about it. The only thing I didn’t like were the leg lifts, I may replace them with something else, like barbell curls to work my arms, because I felt the leg lifts did nothing. Although I may just be really bad at them XD

whoo hoo! Weight-loss feels so good :)

Sunshine…

I went a little overboard today. Over 200 calories past my daily budget. Ugh. I guess I was bound to slip-up sometime. It just sucks because I was doing so well before and now…gahh.

It’s been a very long time since I’ve done a text post.  As Sharon said to me last week “You’ve lost your mojo”

I have to agree.

My life has changed in so many ways in the last month.  I was a grad student living with one of my best friends with two more of them living down the street.  I drove across the country and went on adventures that are way out of my comfort zone.  I left California (after dropping off my roommate) and came back to Massachusetts and move into a one bedroom apartment.  (I would like to break for a moment and say don’t you put “an” in front of words that start with a vowel? It would be an octopus, an octo-mom.  But on an one bedroom apartment is wrong?)  Back on topic.

I started working full time at my internship-turned-contractor job doing tax returns that are beyond my knowledge and coming home so exhausted I just lay in my bed and try to find the energy to cook dinner.

I’m lonely.  I’m tired. I’m just trying to figure this new life out.

So yes, I lost some mojo.

But it’s coming back. Soon.  As soon as I get my credit card so I can earn miles so I can be reunited with Ashley.  

When I go back to school after summer…

I want to see their jealousy.

I want to walk in there and see all people staring at me.

I want them to get compliments on my weight loss.

I want to be skinner than her.

I want to make them feel desperate.

I want to support my followers.

I want to wear my old jeans.

I want to feel healthy and fantastic.

I want to be confident.

I wanna have a reason to go shopping every day.

I want it. Now.

Next Week's Plans

I’m going to be honest and say that when I stayed at my friend’s house the last couple of days I didn’t exercise as much self-control as I could have. I made a lot of bad choices with the excuse of not being at home and not being in control. I had A LOT of sodium, carbs, and a whole lot of fat(I finally had some pizza which is the only thing I literally refuse to eat because I know I’ll pig out…and I pigged out). It wasn’t pretty. My weight went back up by about 4 pounds as expected but like the last time this happened it’ll go back down pretty quickly and I’ll be right back on track in a couple of days(though I really would like to have continued without any setbacks…hopefully I’ll get through the summer without any more). I obviously haven’t learned my lesson with this, though, and I really need to. I won’t always be able to work out two hours a day and I can’t go my entire life without eating out or indulging so I need how to do it healthily. I can’t just let everything go to shit because it’s too hard to say no.

Anyway, I stayed with my cousin last night because I was babysitting her so when I got home I had a KIND protein bar and worked out for an hour on the elliptical. I had some high fiber oatmeal with a glass of soy milk after. I had a cup of coffee as I made dinner which was a couple of bites of turkey breast, sauteed portabello mushrooms with worchestershire sauce, and salad with balsamic vinegar, red peppers, tomato, and feta cheese. A little bit of pineapple was dessert. I worked out for another hour after that.

Would a hedonist diet?

I’ve been shit slack this week. Well let’s be honest here, for the last two weeks.

Carborama.

Gah. Blah. Oh, oops, that ones copywrited.

I’ve had bread, pasta, pizza (gasp). And the evil of all evils, Coke. A cola.

Boo me. I did go for a run Monday, but I doubt that counts now.

Crap. Why’s it so hard? I’ll attempt to stay away from the Duramine next week but I’m making no promises.

Here’s to another weekend. Cheers big ears.

Jx

Hey there, rib cage. It’s been a while. Now, that you came back I will do anything to keep you.

I haven’t done my workout yet :x

There’s still time! If I don’t get it in today, I’ll just count today as my rest day for the week… I’m so sore already. Getting in and out of the car today was painful lol 

I walked around in the mall for hours shopping though… and didn’t buy anything, what a let down!

Went to dinner at Houlian’s with my sister and didn’t partake in the free disco fries… I only ate a max of 350 calories total so I’m still on track for the day as well, proving it’s entirely possible to make smart choices when eating at restaurants.

Real Girl Thinspo. My favorite kind.

This was something i did in OT(occupational therapy) today… i think it actually shows why Ed is so hard to combat…

it is a dialogue between me and my eating disorder:

Alyssa: I want recovery to live my life

Ed: No, you NEED me to survive

A: I need to change my lifestyle

E: You shouldn’t change anything because you’ll just fuck it all up

A: I want to be healthy and happy

E: I can give you that, if only you’d try harder you fat cow

A: I want to not hate my life

E: You should hate your life because you have fucked it up completely

A: I want a successful career

E: I’ll give you that by pushing you to accept nothing less than perfection. No perfection=FAILURE

A: I want a life filled with love and joy

E: You don’t deserve that

A: I am going to change to better myself

E: I will make your life a living hell if you disobey me

A: I want to be content with my life

E: You can be content when you are perfect

A: I want to have fun

E: You don’t deserve that. Everybody thinks you’re fat anyways, the only reason they hang out with you is so that you make them look better by being the fat friend

A: I want to be Ed free

E: You will never be good enough without me, you’re a loser and a failure without me; you will blow up like a balloon and become the fattest and most hated person on earth without me.

Seems irrational right?

But it goes through my head every minute of every day…

And after awhile…

Ed becomes truth…

if you ever wondered what i’m fighting

that’s part of it

So why do I still look exactly the same when I look in the mirror?:( I feel so fat, gross and just plain fucking ugly. Why can’t I see any of this weight come off? I’m a uk size 6/8, but I still LOOK at least a 12/14. Wtf? My mum wants me to go to the doctor, because she’s worried about the way I see myself. But why can’t she see it? I bet she does, really… So why won’t she admit that my stomach is still disgusting? That my thighs are still huge? That everything still jiggles when I move!? Tomorrow I’m going to drink loooads of water and eat ONLY fruit, and hopefully the next day, too. Actually I might try to do that until monday, I think. I’m so sick of catching my reflection and cringing away from it, will this shit ever stop?:/

MEAL PLAN FOR THE WEEK

Breakfast - banana, green tea

Snack (in school) - gumgumgum :)

Lunch - Weight Watchers soup/ravioli, strawberries/grapes/raspberries for dessert

Snack (before working out) - fruits, like an apple

Dinner (after working out) - canned tuna with corn/3 fiber crispbreads with low-fat, low-cal cheese or salami

Snack (late-night, in case) - fruits!

WORKOUT PLAN - MONDAY, TUESDAY, THURSDAY, FRIDAY

*8-Minute Ab and Arm Workouts, once in the morning and once in the afternoon/evening

*1 hour total of walking/jogging on the treadmill

*30 minutes on the stationary bike

*2 rounds of strength training

-> Wednesday is my day-off from the gym! But I will still do the 8-Minute Ab and Arm Workouts twice, once in the morning and once in the evening.

-> On Saturday next week (June 25), I will take a picture wearing the exact outfit I wore in today’s picture and compare. What the scale says isn’t important.

Cait, you have to realize that you cannot afford any more unhealthy eating! I know the only reason you ate unhealthily tonight was because you had no more fruits to snack on, because your lazy butt just slept this afternoon instead of hit the grocery store. It’s your own fault, but tomorrow will be better. You’re going to stick to your plan, grocery shop for fruits and Weight Watchers soup as well. You are going to work out and love it. You will not even THINK about eating anything that is not what you planned. You are slowly getting back on track, and in a strange way, I’m actually proud of you.