I was amused but scared they were onto me :S

INTAKE: Not too good :/

EXERCISE: none/ just walking around the mall for a few minutes.

Today’s exercise! Got up at 7 AM and was at the gym by 8 AM. I did 45 minutes of working out!

• Bike: 20 minutes. 4 miles. 90.2 calories :)
• Leg Press: 3 sets of 120 lbs. 12 reps each. Legs felt tired today. Couldn’t manage the 140 lbs I was doing earlier this week. I love the leg press but I need to give it a break tomorrow.
• Rows: 3 sets of 37.5 lbs, 50 lbs, and 44 lbs. Each with 12 reps. I challenged myself on this machine to try a higher weight class and it worked well! Tomorrow I will try for 2 sets at 50 lbs.
• Overhead Press: 3 sets. 2 sets at 37.5 lbs, 1 set at 25 lbs. 12 reps twice, 8 once. 
• Crunches: 50 crunches. 40 more oblique crunches, 20 on each side. Felt sore today. My core is probably even weaker than my upper body strength. Probably worn out from yesterday’s crunches.
• Squats: 1 set of 10 so far. Planning on doing more throughout the day. I think squats are a good way to stretch out my tight hamstrings.
• Stretch: Did another round of post biking stretching. I’ve heard that you shouldn’t stretch “cold” muscles. 

Did quite a bit for a 45 minute workout. I’m working my psychological endurance up to start thinking about 30 minute biking warm-ups :) Almost had the willpower to do it today, tomorrow’s outlook is good.

I don’t know if I’m burning a significant amount of calories or not but I’m feeling better at least psychologically about working out everyday. It’s healthy to do 30 minutes a day they say and I’m sticking close to that right now. I want to work up to a longer workout over time but for someone who usually only works out during the summers anyway (and by that I mean 20 minute jogs, twice a week out of boredom) I’ve really come a long way in just a week :)

Maybe I’ll be able to keep it up throughout the school year too!

That’s How I’ve Been Feeling Lately…. I Was Working 3 Jobs For The Past 3 Weeks Up Until Last Week & Currently Working 2 Jobs Until June 15th When CPS Kids Are Out Of School! I’m Starting To Develop A Blah Life As It’s All Work & No PLAY!…Lol I Just Need To Get Back On A Daily Work Schedule Because I’ve Not Been Eating Right & I’ve Gain A Few Pound Due To Me Not Working Out As I Was About Three Weeks Ago… Haven’t Been To My Weight Watchers Meeting In Two Weeks:(….UGH! I Was Doing Really Good Had Lost A Totally Of 13 Lbs But, Stepped On The Scale & I’m Up A Few Pounds….:( So, I Know What I Need To Do But, All In All I Know I Bite Off More Than I Could Chew When I Agreed To Start My Summer Gig Before The Kids Got Outta School! Working All Three Jobs Had Become Tooo Much That I Had To Quit MCA-Chicago…. 

Within The Next Week I Am Getting Back On My Workout Routine & Will Start Logging My Meals On WW Cause I Refuse To Ruin All The Hard Work I’ve Done In The Pass Three Months! 

ECA Online Courses Are Starting At The End Of The Month & I’m More Nervous Than Excited….Lol

Anyways, I Have To Work Today At MP From 11-6pm… Hope The Day Goes By Fast!

Later, Gators!

I woke up and run/walked 2 miles- I walked more than I would have liked since even though it was cool, it was really humid.  Bleh, but I still did it! :D

Now I’m about to do Ab Ripper X and maybe start day 15(!) of p90x!  It doesn’t seem like it’s been 2 weeks already.  I’ll probably hold off on that because I’m pretty dang hungry, though.

THEN JOB INTERVIEW

(then arms and back workout, probably)

Then mediterranean food-

Then I’m gonna go to the roller derby.

YUS.

I really thought I was going to gain from yesterday.

I’m losing weight noticeably. My size 16 jeans fit on the hips again without straining. I’ve been at this diet for 6 days and it seems like the water weight coming off is really helping me get back in to my clothes. I’m well aware that the weight in fat is going to come off steadier and I hope that I don’t get discouraged with only 1-2lb coming off a week.

I’ve had to up my calorie intake. While running around with two children, housework, cooking, walking and staying up in the nights comforting a six month old baby, 950 calories is making me feel faint and constantly hungry. I don’t think it would be so bad if I wasn’t burning at least 400 calories a day in strength and cardiovascular exercise which brings my net calories way under 950.

I’ve upped my intake to 1100 which allows me a slightly larger portion at dinner. I’m still eating very well and I not consuming any junk apart from Monster energy drinks. I’m still exercising to tone and to feel healthy. I’m still very positive about the next week and the week after that.

I would kill for a big slice of Red Velvet cake or Tiramasu right now. Last night I drank a double Tia Maria and Coke and wanted to eat the entire glass because it tasted so much like my beloved Tiramasu. I think if I allow myself to treat I’ll be treating myself with a small portion of Tiramasu.

I’ve also promised Sean that once I’ve lost 20lb we’ll go to Peachy Keens because he loves that place as much as I do. I have also promised I will really treat myself and I’ll eat a three course meal. One day off.

Ripped in 30 Daily Meal Plans:

Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 Meal Plan

It’s been 16 days, 16 days! This slightly blows my mind because when I used to go on “health bouts” I’d usually last a week before I fell victim to a binge or started having extreme doubt. It feels so unimaginably good not to be the victim anymore. 

Today’s weigh in: 134.5 

It feels so weird being here, because I never thought’d I get here, in a million years, I was the girl that’d given up all hope? And yet here I am! As far as numbers go I always aimed at 130 mostly because at the height of my ED I weighed 127 and looked frail and sick (I now know that’s because of my unhealthy habits not the number) but regardless I am a little weary with numbers. I definitely don’t see myself going anywhere below 125, I don’t think it’d suit my body, I think the lowest” perhaps 126. But let’s just play it by week and see what happens because I’m this far and already feel great. Numbers aren’t a big deal anymore.  

*Celebrating with oatmeal and peanut butter, it has been too long. This is the reason I woke up so early…*

So, yesterday, I went to a nice store to get myself a congratulatory dress in a US size 6 finally, (that same dress wouldn’t zip up in a 10 a month and a half ago!) and had the following odd conversation with the lady on the cash.

Her (very obese nosy older lady - I’m not saying this just to be mean, she could barely walk): So, what’s the occasion for you getting this dress? A wedding, a party? 

Me: Mmm… no.. just for me.

Her: Well, any special reason??

Me (exasperated): It’s just a reward for a personal accomplishment. I lost some weight.

Her: How much? How long did it take? How many sizes did you go down???

Me: I went from a 10 to a 6 in a month and a half.

Her: OH MY! You’re not STARVING yourself, are you??? Because my daughter starved herself but she didn’t lost ANY weight, so don’t starved yourself!!

Me (starting to feel really awkward, feeling paranoid she KNOWS): Um, no. Just eating less and more vegan meals, exercising more… 

Her (tears up): Well, sweetie, you’re SUCH an inspiration to so many people! Such a success story, and did it the healthy way, too! Here’s a coupon for 25% off ANYTHING next time you’re here! (It’s kind of an expensive-ish store)

Me (feeling increasingly awkward): Thank you…

I took the coupon and in all honesty will use it, but I felt so terrible that the lady thought I was an “inspiration’. Ugh, I’m so disgusted with myself, I should not inspire anyone to lose weight the way I am. I’m doing it, because it gives me a semblance of sanity, and the “healthy way” does NOT work for me. The devious me is pleased that I somehow “tricked” the poor lady, but the rest of me is just feeling…. ugh. 

I took a photo in a mirror this morning, to considering posting a “in process” progress, but once I saw it, I burst into tears. I can’t let anyone see me like this  yet. The scale shows a loss of 20 pounds, but somehow I CAN’T SEE IT even in a photo. Maybe when I lose 25 pounds in total. I’ll try again, I promise.

Yesterday's intake and exercise

Okay so I really didn’t want to post this buuuut…yeah, this is what I look like now. I think I’m a little bloated because I’m getting my period but you guys get the idea. I’m 5’8 and I haven’t weighed myself in like 3 days but I’m assuming I’m in 163-158 range?

little bit of progress. 

Less fatty arms/haven’t got layers of flab covering my hipbones.

I do however look pregnant. fml. 

I lost another 2.2 lbs! yay :)

Wow, this guy knows his shit!  Everything he says is so true and might be able to help you take weight loss to the next level.

i’m open to follow any weight loss blogs so if anyone knows any tell me! :333

 Breakfast: 

bananna & Morning star farms “sausage” and egg biscuit=7 pts

Lunch: 

Slow cooker Ropa Vieja with some cheese on top

Salad with a small bit of cheese and Crutons and 1000isl dressing = 10 pts

Dinner

Grilled chicken

Mashed potatoes(instant)

Stuffing

Creamed spinach with laughing cow light swiss = 14 

Snacks= 

WW fruties = 2

Jamba Juice bar= 2

Grilled turkey and cheese on light bread =5

39/59

activity points earned =2

Recipe for Ropa Vieja:  http://www.weightwatchers.com/food/rcp/index.aspx?recipeid=110251 I reccomend this recipe. I was really tasty. I added a 1/2 can of stewed tomatoes to mine. Plus this recipe makes a ton! Me and the boyfriend has made this into several meals and have some frozen. 

GAH! I still have 20 points left over! I am really having trouble eating all my points when I eat at home all meals. I could have had more veggies and fruit today, but I just would have been lower in points. I was feeling bad about the stuffing and potatoes with dinner. I made them both b/c my boyfriend really doesn’t eat veggies, so if my sides are veggies I usually find something quick and easy that he will eat. So far on my days off work, I have ussually be higher in the points, but for some reason today I didn’t go over board with the eating.

I need to find a better way to post this, I couldn’t get a screen shot to work for some reason. 

50 TIPS TO HELP YOU SUCCEED AT “NORMAL” EATING 
from psychology of eating expert Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed. 
author of 


No matter how many years or decades you’ve been overeating or how many 
diets have failed you (notice I didn’t say that you failed on the diets but that they failed 
you!), you can learn how to become a “normal” eater—eating when you’re hungry, 
choosing satisfying foods, remaining aware and enjoying food, and stopping when 
you’re full or satisfied. To do so, you will have to be focused like a laser and persistent 
like a dog digging for a bone, not expect overnight success, switch your attention from 
the scale to your appetite, and learn effective life skills to manage stress and distress. 
I’ve taught hundreds of disregulated eaters how to eat “normally” and I can teach 
you! Here are 50 tips to speed you on your way… 

Self-Talk 
1. Look in the mirror daily and tell yourself you can learn the skills of “normal” eating. 
2. Instead of thinking there are “good” and “bad” foods, consider them as nutritional 
or non-nutritional (“good” and “bad” are moral terms that are best avoided in the 
food arena). 
3. Don’t put yourself down for the mistakes you make with food. Rather, lavishly 
praise yourself for all your successes, even the tiniest ones. 
4. If experience tells you that diets don’t keep your weight off, don’t try to convince 
yourself you should be dieting. Instead, give yourself points for trying a different 
approach. 
5. Never say anything to yourself you wouldn’t say to a young child you love, 
including calling yourself stupid, hopeless, bad, a failure, worthless. Be your own 
cheerleader by generating positive thoughts about your progress. 
6. Avoid all-or-nothing thinking and using words like never and always. Remind 
yourself that most of life is not black and white, but gray. 
7. Detoxify negative things people say about you that are untrue rather than repeating 
them to yourself. Remember that what people say belongs to them, not to you, 
even if your name is attached to their words. 
8. Ask yourself often how you are feeling so you can become connected to your 
emotions, but ask only with curiosity not condemnation. 
9. Stop judging yourself harshly and start developing self-compassion. Treat yourself 
lovingly and practice speaking to yourself with extreme esteem. 
10. Do not keep telling yourself that learning to be a “normal” eater is hard because 
saying so only programs you to find the work difficult. Instead, substitute the words 
challenging or doable. 

Hunger 
11. Check in with yourself often to see how hungry you are using descriptions such as 
not hungry, moderate, very, famished or a 1-10 scale. 
12. Every time you think about food, ask yourself if you’re really hungry enough to eat. 
13. Experiment with eating smaller meals more frequently. 
14. Consider your hunger as a signal that you need fuel, not that you have to go out 
and seek the most fantastic eating experience of your life. 
15. Practice believing that hunger is for fuel and pleasure, not for meeting emotional 
needs. 

Choosing Satisfying Foods 
16. Don’t get hung up on what other people are eating, but ask yourself what you 
would like to eat. 
17. Remind yourself that foods fall on a nutritional continuum (high value/low value), 
not on a moral continuum (good/bad). 
18. Never eat without stopping to consider what you want first. Spend time making a 
satisfying choice. 
19. Refrain from allowing guilt or shame to contaminate your eating decisions. 
20. Don’t eat foods you don’t find satisfying because they’ll remind you of being on a 
diet. 

Eating with Awareness and Enjoyment 
21. Before you eat, look at your food, the portion size, its presentation. Breathe 
deeply. 
22. Chew every mouthful thoroughly to release flavor. 
23. Let food sit on your tongue to let your taste buds absorb flavor. 
24. When you’re talking, stop eating and when you’re eating, stop talking. 
25. Stay connected to your body’s appetite signals while you’re eating. 
26. Push away guilt and shame while you’re eating and focus on sensory pleasure. 
27. Pause while you’re eating to see how you’re feeling about your food in terms of 
quality and quantity. 
28. Stop eating when flavor pleasure declines as it will after a while. 
29. Rather than being determined to polish off all of the food in front of you, seek the 
moment when flavor peaks and you feel an internal “Ah” of satisfaction—and stop. 
30. Keep asking yourself while you’re eating, “Am I full?” and “Am I satisfied?” 

Stopping When You’re Full or Satisfied 
31. Think of full as being enough food (fuel) in your belly and satisfied as being the 
high point of pleasure. 
32. Quantify fullness and satisfaction with numbers or words such as nearly, too, just 
or a 1-10 scale. 
33. When you feel full or satisfied, focus on that sensation and broadcast it to your 
whole body. 
34. When you’re done eating, put down utensils, push away your plate, get up—do 
whatever you need to do to disconnect yourself from the food. 
35. Make sure you’re not focusing on the food that’s left and believing you have to 
fini**** or clean your plate. You decide when enough is enough. 

Beliefs to Change 
36. From “I need to diet to lose weight” to “Diets don’t work long term.” 
37. From “This is too hard” to “I can learn to do this over time.” 
38. From “This will take too long” to “If I don’t change now, I’ll only be back in this 
same place again so I might as well get going on it.” 
39. From “Losing weight is the most important thing” to “I will lose weight if I honor my 
appetite and learn to eat ‘normally.’” 
40. From “I am bad/worthless/ugly if I’m overweight,” to “I accept my body as it is and 
will still try to improve it.” 

Stopping Emotional Eating 
41. When you have the urge to eat when you’re not hungry, ask yourself what you 
might be feeling. 
42. Remind yourself that feelings need a different response than food. 
43. Get to know what emotions trigger unwanted eating—boredom, loneliness, anxiety, 
shame, guilt, disappointment, helplessness—and then learn better ways of dealing 
with them. 
44. Keep a feelings log so you know what’s going on inside of yourself all day long. 
45. Reduce stress which will lessen frustration, helplessness, and feeling 
overwhelmed. 
46. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself as least as well as you take care of 
others. 
47. If you find yourself eating when you’re upset, don’t be hard on yourself. Be 
compassionate and curious and consider your behavior a learning experience. 
48. Get help through therapy if you have a history of trauma or abuse, as there is a 
strong correlation between such a history and emotional eating. 
49. Be responsible for yourself and don’t blame others for your emotional eating. 
50. Tell yourself that you can bear any emotion, practice doing so, and you’ll be 
amazed at the emotional muscle you’ll build.

If I start working out 5 times a week, I could possibly reach my ultimate goal weight by the time new years rolls around.

I think I’m going to try and ease into it. I’ll go for 45 minutes one day, and 60 minutes the next.

…idk I’ll figure something out.

Again, not very happy I went over 1200, but I did rollerblade for an hour again yesterday. I’m SO SORE this morning from it.

I kinda ate shit today :/

Lunch

Work up this morning to find my fiber cereal is all gone. Someone ate the rest of it which doesn’t really make me too happy. There wasn’t much else in my house for breakfast besides a breakfast drink mix. It was filling but I would have much rather had my freaking cereal. -.-

Anyways, I’m changing up my exercise routine today. I’m going to go ahead and eat lunch then maybe go for a quick walk around the block then eat dinner around 5 or so then exercise for about an hour at home. I really wish I had a gym membership somewhere close to my house but I’ll work with what I have I suppose.

I’m also trying not to eat past 6 in the evening and trying to get to bed around 10 pm and no later. Having a little bit of struggling with going to bed earlier because of insomnia but I’m hoping pumping up my exercise time will help tired me out a bit and allow me to start going to bed earlier.

I feel really good today, like reaaaally good, best I’ve felt in a while and even though I’m not seeing much change, there is a little, I can feel it.

Here’s to feeling motivated today!

Yeah now I’m sitting here cooling down from Wii Fit. I swear, I push ridiculously hard at that thing! 

Highlights include 60 jackknives and holding a plank for 114 seconds. Not bad for a fat girl! 

Completely unrelated, but I have a hole in my sneakers. No, not my converse or TOMS, my Asics. Guess it really is time for a new pair, I was going to wait until I reached 230 to get them but it looks like I’ll have to get some next week regardless. 

When you do it for them, you lose. You have to do this for y o u.

When my mom used to tell me to stop eating so much, I used to blame her. Looking back, I was so wrong. It was all me. I ate too much and I didn’t exercise enough. But when she would tell me to put down all of that junk food and the extra helpings, I got angry and I just wanted to eat more and more.

But, on that February Tuesday after I went out to dinner with my friend and ate a slice of pizza with ham, chicken, mozzarella cheese and vodka sauce, that’s when I knew it had to end. That’s the day I started my journey and I never looked back. Yes, of course I had my binges and my days when I quit exercising, but that was my lowest point. It was also my highest weight. I’m down at least 12 pounds since then, and while it might not seem like a lot, it’s a hell of a lot better than nothing. 

So do it for you. 

More reason to starve :)

No lie, that 149 lbs weigh in discouraged me a bit :( Lol! I’m pretty sure I sound like a big sap but I really wasn’t expecting to weigh that much. I definitely have to get a second weigh in. Hopefully the next one will show me weighing less ( a lot less) and I can find my motivation.

I’d love to go for a run [okay, okay, a jog broken up with short periods of walking because I’m still not a runner], but earlier this week I stepped on a piece of metal the size of a nail and ran it completely through my big toe. Yeah. Fun. I’m trying to avoid anything high impact for a little while to give it time to heal.

For that reason, I’m thinking of putting my 8 pound dumbbells to good use. I’ll be sure to post whatever exercise I end up doing.

I’d love to know your favorite way to work your arms. Drop some ideas in my ask box? : ] 

I love looking at other healthy blogs and I want to share my own tips. I’ve lost 32 pounds in the past year the healthy way and I would like to have something to keep track of this progress aside from a number on a scale.

I don’t know.

So delicious! It’s filled with veggies and couscous is super easy to make (it actually cooks itself, just boil water, add couscous, take off heat and cover for 10 minutes, that’s it!).

You don’t have to bake this but I like it with the little bit of crisp on the outside!

Recipe here: http://piecesinprogress.tumblr.com/pastapossibilities

123 calories, 2 fat, 24 carbs, 2.5 fiber, 4 protein

I didn’t drink enough water yesterday which is why I didn’t lose anything. I drank a bit less than normal and that combined with the incredible heat/ massive sweating in my workout means I got dehydrated. I’m rehydrating today and looking forward to being back where I should be tomorrow! :)

The good side is I informally took my measurements and am going to be down at least another inch from my hips and half inch from my waist again! I love that what I’m losing is fat loss because it’s really noticeable. I’m wearing a tank today that I’ve been too embarrassed to wear since I got it and it’s actually loose on me now! :D

Today, I had a free 15 minute personal training session. I was sweating like hell and out of breath by the end of it! I can’t wait to start doing it every week. She was great.

After that, I came in and got a nice glass of ice water. I am trying to cut out soda for now. I am a diet soda ADDICT! I don’t drink coffee or tea so I drink diet soda for my energy. But I drink anywhere from 2-5 cokes a day! It’s way too much.

So right now there is no soda. I am going to try to do no soda until the 16th.

So, I made Caroline a mayo, cheese, and tomato sandwich on wheat. Phil had left overs from when we had mexican the other day. And I made myself a reduced fat peanut butter and banana sandwich on wheat bread with my water. I feel good right now. Exhausted… but good