Land of the Free (falling) and the Home of the Rave

Hey blogland! I hope everyone had a great holiday.  I can't wait to share my 4th of July roundup later (because I know the world wants to know how much beer I drank. Hint: a lot).

Anywhoo, I have been offline for the past several days while we had guests in town and while we were getting our summer on. This morning I had a lot of catching up to do.  I got the internets fired up and lo and behold -- this is the first thing I see.

(in case it isn't clear, the red banner reads: Watch Live: Lindsay Lohan appears in court for a probation hearing)

I don't know if BP got that little situation in the Gulf of Mexico taken care of or what the heck is going on with the troops in Afghanistan, but I know exactly what Lindsay Lohan is doing at this very moment. God bless America! Some things never change.

In other bad news, the symbol now known as Prince is predicting the end of the world wide web. 

"The internet's completely over. . .The internet's like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good."

Sorry bloggers. You no good. So says Prince. I am donning my raspberry beret and having a moment of silence to say good-bye to my BFF, the WWW.

Read more: here.

UPDATE:  I don't know how Prince could find fault with the awesome machine that allows me to watch streaming court hearings involving Lilo making lame excuses for her drunk ass. Oh, and my free legal advice to Lindsay:  It is not a good idea to give the judge (who determines if you go to the pokey) your best Mean Girls bitch face for 4 hours. Just a thought.

Land of the Free (falling) and the Home of the Rave

Hey blogland! I hope everyone had a great holiday.  I can't wait to share my 4th of July roundup later (because I know the world wants to know how much beer I drank. Hint: a lot).

Anywhoo, I have been offline for the past several days while we had guests in town and while we were getting our summer on. This morning I had a lot of catching up to do.  I got the internets fired up and lo and behold -- this is the first thing I see.

(in case it isn't clear, the red banner reads: Watch Live: Lindsay Lohan appears in court for a probation hearing)

I don't know if BP got that little situation in the Gulf of Mexico taken care of or what the heck is going on with the troops in Afghanistan, but I know exactly what Lindsay Lohan is doing at this very moment. God bless America! Some things never change.

In other bad news, the symbol now known as Prince is predicting the end of the world wide web. 

"The internet's completely over. . .The internet's like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good."

Sorry bloggers. You no good. So says Prince. I am donning my raspberry beret and having a moment of silence to say good-bye to my BFF, the WWW.

Read more: here.

UPDATE:  I don't know how Prince could find fault with the awesome machine that allows me to watch streaming court hearings involving Lilo making lame excuses for her drunk ass. Oh, and my free legal advice to Lindsay:  It is not a good idea to give the judge (who determines if you go to the pokey) your best Mean Girls bitch face for 4 hours. Just a thought.

Top News in Mathematical Formulation (as calculated by a Liberal Arts Major)

BP = 0   Earth = 3

So just assuming that you think you can poke a big ole hole in the earth and assuming that you are thinking that the earth won't be slightly annoyed with that, lets take a look at the all kinds of crazy happening off the coast of Louisiana. I don't know if you have been to LA, but trust me, this is the place that should come to mind when thinking crazy thoughts.

Anyway, this doomsday problem is srtaight out of Hollywood yo. Rig Explosions, Top Kill,  Big Box, Time is running out, Evil corporations, End of Days.

Everyone thinks that Obama should be fixin this shiz. Don't stress people. As if. Obama is totally working on it. I know he is not a petroleum engineer, but he has Netflix and I am pretty sure he was doing some hard core research on solutions over the long holiday weekend.

+

+

+

X

=

In other news,

Al + Tipper Gore

  

≠ 

  

He was unhappy with her carbon butt footprint.  Sorry that was lame.  In my opinion, vain and selfish plus vain and selfish = divorce.  At least Bill and Hillary have their twisted Pinky and the Brain "let's conquer the world" attitude to make their marriage work. United Front homes. Oh and the name "Tipper" sounds fun, so I am going to just go ahead and blame Al.

Based on my research:

 

                                                        Washington Post

<

                                     

Well those are the top  headlines as explained by yours truly. Sometimes you just need it broken down in sentence fragments and pictures to understand the complex world news. You are welcome.



In local news, today is Matt's birthday.

He was in the paper last year and was captioned as "Blade Runner."  That is his new code name. You know, like when you have to give a name at a restaurant to wait for a table. It is fun to make someone else call him that.

Summit Daily News

Blade Runner + Lori
=

(sorry Al and Tipper, we win)

Happy Birthday Blade Runner.


I love you and your carbon footprint : )



UPDATE:  I am a prophet apparently. The oil spill is going Hollywood for real people. James Cameron is our last hope.

Top News in Mathematical Formulation (as calculated by a Liberal Arts Major)

BP = 0   Earth = 3

So just assuming that you think you can poke a big ole hole in the earth and assuming that you are thinking that the earth won't be slightly annoyed with that, lets take a look at the all kinds of crazy happening off the coast of Louisiana. I don't know if you have been to LA, but trust me, this is the place that should come to mind when thinking crazy thoughts.

Anyway, this doomsday problem is srtaight out of Hollywood yo. Rig Explosions, Top Kill,  Big Box, Time is running out, Evil corporations, End of Days.

Everyone thinks that Obama should be fixin this shiz. Don't stress people. As if. Obama is totally working on it. I know he is not a petroleum engineer, but he has Netflix and I am pretty sure he was doing some hard core research on solutions over the long holiday weekend.

+

+

+

X

=

In other news,

Al + Tipper Gore

  

≠ 

  

He was unhappy with her carbon butt footprint.  Sorry that was lame.  In my opinion, vain and selfish plus vain and selfish = divorce.  At least Bill and Hillary have their twisted Pinky and the Brain "let's conquer the world" attitude to make their marriage work. United Front homes. Oh and the name "Tipper" sounds fun, so I am going to just go ahead and blame Al.

Based on my research:

 

                                                        Washington Post

<

                                     

Well those are the top  headlines as explained by yours truly. Sometimes you just need it broken down in sentence fragments and pictures to understand the complex world news. You are welcome.



In local news, today is Matt's birthday.

He was in the paper last year and was captioned as "Blade Runner."  That is his new code name. You know, like when you have to give a name at a restaurant to wait for a table. It is fun to make someone else call him that.

Summit Daily News

Blade Runner + Lori
=

(sorry Al and Tipper, we win)

Happy Birthday Blade Runner.


I love you and your carbon footprint : )



UPDATE:  I am a prophet apparently. The oil spill is going Hollywood for real people. James Cameron is our last hope.