Weekend Stupidity Wrap-up

I saw so many ridiculous stories this weekend that I am starting to believe in all the 2012 hype.  What in the wide world of the wide world is going on people? I mean really.  Let's recap shall we?

1. Fergie. And I am not talking about the Fergalicous Fergie. I am talking about the original British version. The anti-Diana.  The one that made you wonder how in the heck Raggedy Ann became a princess or duchess or whatever.  

This frumptacular ho.

Yes, the  famous weight watcher no success story is back in the news.  She was caught on tape trying to sell access to Prince Whatshisbutt for $750k.  I mean really, I can't even remember the guy's name. Do you think someone is going to pay that kind of cash just to have access to him?  Stupid.

Oh, and very Un-Duchessy in my opinion.



2. Tattoo Lip.  You may not have heard of him yet,  but I am sure he will make the cover of The Smoking Gun this week.  He is a local Denver home burglar. Rocky mountain high indeed!

Um, Anthony darling, if you are going to be a burglar, you might think about getting the tattooed words "East Side" and the number "13" removed from your face.  Are those directions to your house?  I am shocked you were caught.

Oh,  and he was caught robbing an Elvis impersonator. Not cool Anthony. Matt and I were married by an Elvis impersonator as featured here (but probably not this particular impersonator as we were married in Vegas). Whatever! You don't mess with the King.


3. LOST.  I did not actually watch the finale.  I tried to watch episode 2 of the 1st season but I was so damn confused, I gave up. It sounds like that was a good call.  Everyone all over the internets is crying about the ending. I don't know what happened,  but I am going to go ahead and assume it was stupid. 

 Don't feel bad if you wasted the last 6 years of your life watching this show only to be led to utter disappointment.  I felt the exact same way about Gilligan's Island. There never was a resolution. Do they ever get off the island?  Did the Professor finally design an invention that works the way it is supposed to without Gilligan screwing it up? Did the Skipper and Ginger finally do it? I was so mad I never found out! I wasted 12 years of my life people. Of course I now know I was watching reruns over and over all those years. At the time, it was very confusing. Sometimes it was in black and white and sometimes it was in color. What can I say? We didn't have Google back in the day. I grew up in the informational dark ages. How was I to know?

UPDATE: Perez Hilton just posted about tattoo lip. He must read my blog : )

Looking forward to more stupid crap,

Weekend Stupidity Wrap-up

I saw so many ridiculous stories this weekend that I am starting to believe in all the 2012 hype.  What in the wide world of the wide world is going on people? I mean really.  Let's recap shall we?

1. Fergie. And I am not talking about the Fergalicous Fergie. I am talking about the original British version. The anti-Diana.  The one that made you wonder how in the heck Raggedy Ann became a princess or duchess or whatever.  

This frumptacular ho.

Yes, the  famous weight watcher no success story is back in the news.  She was caught on tape trying to sell access to Prince Whatshisbutt for $750k.  I mean really, I can't even remember the guy's name. Do you think someone is going to pay that kind of cash just to have access to him?  Stupid.

Oh, and very Un-Duchessy in my opinion.



2. Tattoo Lip.  You may not have heard of him yet,  but I am sure he will make the cover of The Smoking Gun this week.  He is a local Denver home burglar. Rocky mountain high indeed!

Um, Anthony darling, if you are going to be a burglar, you might think about getting the tattooed words "East Side" and the number "13" removed from your face.  Are those directions to your house?  I am shocked you were caught.

Oh,  and he was caught robbing an Elvis impersonator. Not cool Anthony. Matt and I were married by an Elvis impersonator as featured here (but probably not this particular impersonator as we were married in Vegas). Whatever! You don't mess with the King.


3. LOST.  I did not actually watch the finale.  I tried to watch episode 2 of the 1st season but I was so damn confused, I gave up. It sounds like that was a good call.  Everyone all over the internets is crying about the ending. I don't know what happened,  but I am going to go ahead and assume it was stupid. 

 Don't feel bad if you wasted the last 6 years of your life watching this show only to be led to utter disappointment.  I felt the exact same way about Gilligan's Island. There never was a resolution. Do they ever get off the island?  Did the Professor finally design an invention that works the way it is supposed to without Gilligan screwing it up? Did the Skipper and Ginger finally do it? I was so mad I never found out! I wasted 12 years of my life people. Of course I now know I was watching reruns over and over all those years. At the time, it was very confusing. Sometimes it was in black and white and sometimes it was in color. What can I say? We didn't have Google back in the day. I grew up in the informational dark ages. How was I to know?

UPDATE: Perez Hilton just posted about tattoo lip. He must read my blog : )

Looking forward to more stupid crap,

PIG ATTACK! Uhh . . . . Where the Hell is Linda Blair?

I woke up to tragedy this morning. 

I. Have. No. Words.


AP-  Two pigs were tied up and beaten at a foundation-owned farm in southwest Colorado Springs, and farm operators say one may have to be euthanized. Venetucci Farm manager Patrick Hamilton says the pigs were attacked twice, on March 31 and again Monday. Hamilton says it appears the pigs were hit with a fence post, rather than attacked by dogs or coyotes.He is asking anyone with information to contact the El Paso County Sheriff's Department. The 190-acre farm is owned by the Pikes Peak Community Foundation. It grows and sells organic produce and offers education and volunteer programs. It gives away pumpkins to children every fall. 

Hold on, I do have words. Two words in fact:  "LINDA BLAIR."

Can someone please check to see if Linda Blair is in Colorado?


"Linda Blair?" You ask.


Yes, Linda Blair.  Of Exorcist and RollerBoogie fame. That very one.

 woman possessed or beautiful rollerdancer ?

Are you telling me that you don't remember this stunning headline from earlier this year.

"Linda Blair Connected to Shocking Pig Attack"

It was featured prominently by gossip bloggers in the news. What' s that??? Are yous seriously telling me that you do not read Perez Hilton, TMZ, Popeater, D-listed and The Superficial on a hourly daily basis? 

 

Puh-lease.

 

 Well, if happen to live under a rock, you can read about it here.  Clueless people click here. The truly, truly clueless people who have no idea who Linda Blair is can click here.

 

While the pig attack is tragic and I am certain that the farm and the pigs themselves were blameless, what is the relevance of the free pumpkins? Or is that a clue. Maybe Ms. Blair is not to blame. Where are all those pesky kids and their free pumpkins?? I shoulda been a detective.

PIG ATTACK! Uhh . . . . Where the Hell is Linda Blair?

I woke up to tragedy this morning. 

I. Have. No. Words.


AP-  Two pigs were tied up and beaten at a foundation-owned farm in southwest Colorado Springs, and farm operators say one may have to be euthanized. Venetucci Farm manager Patrick Hamilton says the pigs were attacked twice, on March 31 and again Monday. Hamilton says it appears the pigs were hit with a fence post, rather than attacked by dogs or coyotes.He is asking anyone with information to contact the El Paso County Sheriff's Department. The 190-acre farm is owned by the Pikes Peak Community Foundation. It grows and sells organic produce and offers education and volunteer programs. It gives away pumpkins to children every fall. 

Hold on, I do have words. Two words in fact:  "LINDA BLAIR."

Can someone please check to see if Linda Blair is in Colorado?


"Linda Blair?" You ask.


Yes, Linda Blair.  Of Exorcist and RollerBoogie fame. That very one.

 woman possessed or beautiful rollerdancer ?

Are you telling me that you don't remember this stunning headline from earlier this year.

"Linda Blair Connected to Shocking Pig Attack"

It was featured prominently by gossip bloggers in the news. What' s that??? Are yous seriously telling me that you do not read Perez Hilton, TMZ, Popeater, D-listed and The Superficial on a hourly daily basis? 

 

Puh-lease.

 

 Well, if happen to live under a rock, you can read about it here.  Clueless people click here. The truly, truly clueless people who have no idea who Linda Blair is can click here.

 

While the pig attack is tragic and I am certain that the farm and the pigs themselves were blameless, what is the relevance of the free pumpkins? Or is that a clue. Maybe Ms. Blair is not to blame. Where are all those pesky kids and their free pumpkins?? I shoulda been a detective.